The Art of Conversation

Dominion, Volume 30, Issue 154, 27 March 1937, Page I (Supplement)

The Art of Conversation

WHILE one fault will make a man a poor conversationalist, oue virtue will not make him a good one,” says Mr. Milton ■Wright, in his book, “The Art of Conversation.” "He must possess many qualities, some of them having to do with his character, some with his intellect, and some with his temperament. The more of these qualities he possesses and the greater the degree in which he possesses them, the better conversationalist lie is. “To be sympathetic means to be in tune with the person with whom yon are talking. You ean get along best in your conversation with him if you appreciate his point of view. You need not agree with all his conclusions, but you certainly should try to understand his attitude. You must be friendly. In all of Hie art of conversation there probably is nothing more important. If you are friendly, many faults ean be excused ; if you are unfriendly, you will need unusual ability to overcome the handicap. "Not only should you know about things and people, but you should be interested in ithem. You should want to know more about what is going on around you. You should possess a lively curiosity. If you find the world dull, the chances are that your companions will find you dull.” ’Then, again, with regard to his plea that the ideal conversationalist is always in a good humour, he asserts: — “This does not mean that he must be humorous, but rather that he must have a frame of mind, conducive to good fellowship. He must be ready

to laugh al a joke, he must realise that the world is not all bail, he must not take things too seriously. He must be companionable. “One of the attributes that, will be conducive to a mood which will make him companionable is a sense of proportion. Ho must not magnify trifles. He must see little things as little and big things as big. Of eotirse, he may deliberately distort, things now and then, for the purpose of making them interesting or amusing—which is another way of saying that lie must apply his sense of the dramatic—but. he must in general have a normal appreciation of the relative importance of things. “Tlie good conversationalist rarely should preach, lie seldom should give advice. He should not dwell on moral issues. He should not take the attitude of teaching his listeners. If he does, he may be instructive, he may be eloquent, and ho may even be interesting, but the result is not conversation. “This tendency to preach probably will bo avoided by the man who doesn’t take himself too seriously. You must know your own mind, yon must not minimise your own importance, but it will be best for you if you keep constantly in mind that yon are only human. In fact, the less you think about yourself, the better. “The man who thinks about himself is likely to talk about himself, and often, when lie preaches, it is merely to impress his hearers with an appreciation of his own virtues. Even if you have a wholly unselfish desire to reform your listeners, if is well to realise that they won’t like it. It will do ally of us good to laugh at ourselves occasionally.”