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Dominion, Volume 30, Issue 47, 19 November 1936, Page 6

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J The two men strode noisily into j i the smokeless air of the vegetarian 1 | cafe. They looked like lions that, « J having missed their kill, are reluc- J ! tantly forced into eating peanuts for ! ! the mere sake of existence. The ; > taller and thinner wore a cynical | ! sneer and spoke in a gentle and ! * martyred voice, with an adulterat- | ; ed English accent. He said: “I sup- { ! pose we can sit anywhere?” ! | They stretched their legs under [ I the table and warily scanned the ! I menu. Said the stocky one, lending j [ colour to the idea that his round, J ’ red face might have first appeared ! . ! in Owld Oireland. “Ach, you ; | brought me here! But I know what j ) I’ll have—half a dozen big, new po- ! ! tatoes!” ; ! His thin friend puyzled for five ! ! minutes and gave up the struggle. • J He ordered the waitress to “bring J ! anything that’s good/’ ! < “Pepper, please!” demanded the ! ! stocky one,, looking lovingly at his ! ! plate. } ; A girl at the table burst out < ) laughing. “You can’t have pepper T ! here,” she said and passed him the i ; I salt. ;' J "Oh, but look! Pepper’s vege- { table, aren’t they?” he protested, ! and like a good Irishman, enjoyed > the potatoes nevertheless. J “And now what I want," he i i went on, soothed, “is a large cup > ; of tea.” [ J “You can have quick-brew cof- i ! fee,” the waitress told him and he ! < howled his displeasure anew. “Oh,. > j that’s a bit hot. Tea’s vegetable!” ! ! His friend cross-examined the ! ! waitress. “This coffee, is it real?” ; J he inquired. “Is it made from pro- j J per beans?” ' ! They both relented and drank it, < ! with profound misgiving. These [ ; were the men who have made New ' J Zealand a nation of meat-eaters. ! ! Not for them the subtle flavours ; > and unexpected joys of bloodless j ! vegetables. ! ! They returned to the study of the < ; menu. The Englishman cried, “Oh, | } I say, here’s eggs!” I ! “Eggs! Now that’s a foul. ! I They’re no vegetable,” and the > ; Irishman rumbled with laughter at { ! his own joke. ; ' “Come to think of it, beer’s a ; I vegetable, though,” he murmured | ] reflectively. ! I "Yes, that’s so. And so is ; ; whisky—and gin.” { J “Come to think of it, all ako- ! i hoi’s vegetable.” < ! The two men glanced at each > j other and. with one accord, they [ ! rose and left the cafe. !

—O.M.A.