Pickles

Dominion, Volume 29, Issue 220, 13 June 1936, Page 24

Pickles

A young R.A.F. officer, stationed “somewhere in Egypt,” was Hying near the Great Pyramid carrying out exercises in navigation and discovering bls position with a sextant. After a Series of involved calculations, he suddenly turned to his pilot. ‘‘Take your hat off,” be commanded. “Why?” asked the pilot.

"Because,” said the other, “according to my calculations wc arc now inside St. Paul’s Cathedral.”

» “What a delightful baby!” said the nervous young curate, visiting a parishioner. “And how old is—er —he. she, or it, as the case may be?" “Just five weeks, sir,” replied the proud mother. “Well, well!” said the curate helpfully. “Your youngest, I suppose?”

Teacher was telling the class about the conquests of Alexander the Great. “When Alexander had conquered India,” she said, -‘what do you think he did? Do you think he gave a great feast to celebrate his triumph? No, he sat down and wept.”

The pupils seemed disappointed at this childish display on the part of the hero, so she hastened to explain. “Now. why do you think Alexander wept?” she asked. Up shot a hand. “Please miss,” said Freddie, “perhaps he didn’t, know the way back.”

’•Smith," said the works manager, as he pointed to a cigarette-end on the floor, “is this yours?” “Not at all, sir,” replied Smith politely. “You saw it first.” X: $ $ “Jackson," said the master of the house to his gardener, “I believe the mistress did a little work in lhe garden this morning.” “Very good, sit". I will go and put the garden in order." « . * * “How was it that you came to knock this man down?” asked the traffic constable. “Knock him down I" replied the motorist. "I pulled up to let him go over the crossing' and he fainted from the shock." # A • “Excuse me," said the dear old lady, “do those tattoo marks wash off?" “Can’t say, lady,” replied the old salt. “I’ve never tried.” « s ♦ Centre: “I. could kick myself for missing that penalty." Captain: “Well, you'd better let me do it. You'd probably miss again." Headmaster: “And how did you get the idea of becoming a teacher?" Applicant: “I thought that the blackboard would set oil my blonde hair so beautifully.”