RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 28, Issue 113, 6 February 1935, Page 8

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current Events (By Kickshaws.) For most of us the most interesting part of the National Mortgage Finance Corporation is the finance, * » # Incidentally the American pronunciation of “financier” as “finnanceer’’ suggests too strongly the word “profiteer.” We understand that the people of Nelson spend so much upon those glasshouses of theirs that even stone fruit is discouraged. * * * Modern progress has led to all manner of curious jobs. The smoke nuisance and legislation to combat it has resulted in men whose sole job is to watch the smoke emitted from factory chimneys. As soon as the wrong coloured smoke appears the smoke watcher looks at it through tinted glass and reports the result to those in charge. In the old days there was talk about instituting a public corrector. We have no such person even to-day, but fault-finding as a living brings in four-figure incomes to some people. _

We are reminded by Admiral Byrd’s report on the Antarctic that some experts declare that if anything happened to melt all the ice at the Poles remarkable alterations would occur in all the land areas of the world. It has been calculated that if all tbe ice were to melt in the world the level of the oceans would rise nearly 200 feet. Apart from giving an idea of the vast quantities of spare ice there is tucked away in the world it would force us to readjust our ways of living. In the first place three-quarters of Great Britain would disappear. The British Isles would indeed be isles. Except for a few isolated peaks the only land that would remain in Britain would be the Pennines in Derbyshire, and the mountainous areas of Wales and Scotland. We in New Zealand would fare better because we have more land above the two hundred-foot level. Nevertheless, Wellington’s very existence depends upon the ice remaining at the Poles. Incidentally, the Sahara would become a great inland sea, and Central Australia would also become a sea. At one time the glacial sheets at the Poles were 12 million square miles in extent. They have dwindled to six millions. The tide is rising—in 50,000 years it will have risen to its limit.

Herr Hitler’s matrimonial campaign for 200,000 brides'stimulates the imagination. Some idea of what it means for a country to have 200,000 more brides every year than it lias normally may be had from the fact that the combined bridal processions would stretch from Dunedin to Christchurch. • If every bride insisted upon a house of her own they would snap up every empty house In New Zealand and still not be satisfied. The cost of the trousseau and wedding presents runs away with nearly £10,000,000 and furnishing after the wedding puts nearly £100,000,000 Into the pockets of others. No wonder some countries are making every effort to encourage marriage. Indeed one politicul party in Brazil recruited mainly from trade circles proposes to pass a law when it comes into power to make marriage compulsory for all before the age,of 30 years. It must not be thought, however, that England lags utterly behind Germany in the matter of helping brides to the altar. Civil servant brides in that country receive dowries when they marry. Every one of them is given-a month’s 'pay for each year of service with a maximum of a year’s salary. Moreover, they are compelled to resign on marrying.

There are languages where a nice point is made of the sex of things. The German language makes a point of a sex appeal in inanimate objects, and even abstract ideas. When German was first invented, the scheme was evidently to give the strong things a male sex and the weak things a female one. The rest were thrown into tbe neuter pile. But changes that have occurred have beset the German language with pitfalls. The English language unceremoniously lumps everything into one gender, but wisely refrains from stating what gender. “The” giri and “the” boy cannot be distinguished. The French have stuck to male and female, even in inanimate things, but have refused to tolerate a neuter sex. The Romans wisely incorporated .thesex of things iu the word itself. “A’ r man or “the” man was a matter to be decided by the reader. # * # * Presence of mind, as reported in recent bathing accidents, is a reminder of tlie remarkable manner in which a youngster once kept his heal in a situation not only extremely critical but fraught with the necessity for extreme displomacy. The lad in question was riding a donkey. Overhanging the road were some apple trees weighted with luscious looking fruit. The temptation proved too great for the lad. He stopped the donkey, stood on its back and helped himself. Unfortunately when he had a firm grip of the branch the donkey moved ou leaving him suspended. “Hullo,” said the owner of the apple tree, “what are you doing there?” Obviously the moment was critical. Moreover the owner of the apple tree could not help harbouring a _ certain suspicion concerning tlie motives of the suspended youth. The answer that the lad gave was a little astonishing. “I’ve just fallen off my donkey,” said the boy. Usually one thinks of the correct retort when it is too late. At times the simple truth will prevail. A girl riding from Wisconsin to California at a time when Red Indians were on the war path wa§ pursued by a troop who eventually caught her up. Ignoring their weapons and their war paint she told them quite simply who she was and Bvhat she was doing. Impressed with her courage they actually escorted 1 her to safety. The most versatile freak that the world has ever known died 101 years ago. The gentleman concerned was a giant and a dwarf. For included in his repertory was an ability to expand his frame to that of a giant, or contract it to that of a dwarf. It would seem, if one' is to believe enlightened investigators of this dwarf-giant, that he was able to contract and expand a distance till told of nearly two feet. But for the fact that this strange exhibition of elasticity was observed by men of standing and integrity one would dismiss it as a myth. In these days of enlightenment the only counterpart to inelasticity is a girl with elastic arms. She can stretch them out to half as long again as normal or contract them like the tentacles of an octopus. In the matter of more or less normal freaks the world to-day is as well supplied as of yore. We have our fat men, led presumably by Joe Raggio of ■Philadelphia, whose 54 stone takes some beating. We have our fat woman who at 22. years weighs <Oplb,