RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 26, Issue 69, 14 December 1932, Page 8

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current

Events

LOCAL AND GENERAL

(By

Kickshaws.)

A man who escaped from Mt Eden is said to have masqueraded as an angler. The great catch in this fishing story, of course, was himself.

A New Zealander just back from England declares that motors are the only things booming in England. If he had said motor-cycles we could have believed it.

According to a town planner people might well witness a migration, from Wellington to the Hutt. As it is most of them are quite content with the pictures or a wrestling match.

It is stated that naval experts in America consider that Japan’s latest Naval disarmament scheme, to reduce the power of attack, is too fantastic to be worth consideration. As Japan is anxious to consolidate her position in Manchuria it is understandable that she might desire the navies of the world to be rendered as harmless as possible. The United States of America, on the other hand, might think differently. So the Disarmament Conference wends its way to an inevitable stalemate.

France wants bigger and better submarines. Britain wants smaller and fewer submarines or none at all. Italy wants a navy able to stand up to France, and France naturally disagrees. The only country attending the conference that seems satisfied whatever happens is Panama. Her navy consists of one ship moored a lake and manned by two caretakers. If the other nations of the world had similar navies possibly something might come of the conference.

Under present conditions the only result of a special Naval Disarmament Conference, as proposed by Japan, must be an endless round of disagreement. The countries with big navies are obviously the least suited to forge an effective, scheme. The only other alternative would be for disinterested countries with no navies to sit in conference. The problem then is to find countries with no navies eligible for the conference. Switzerland is commonly considered to have no navy. But this is incorrect. It plies on Lake Geneva patrolling the Franco-Swiss border under the very eyes of the League of Nations. Incidentally, if Poland has no navy she at least has her famous corridor and might have a navy at any moment.

Even Persia would not be eligible to sit on a Naval Conference because she had no navy. Her navy consists of two ships so old that it is a real art to raise a head of steam. Her armament consists of no less than four 2.7 guns. Persia therefore would be quite ineligible for the 'conference. Finland at one time admittedly had no navy. But she has now. It was discarded by Russian revolutionaries in a Finnish harbour. Finland therefore acquired her navy by “scrounging.” Significantly enough the one ship that thereby became the Finnish Navy belonged to the “Borowski” class. So far search has been in vain. But Andorra in the Pyrenees, little bigger than a battleship, has no navy whatever. Indeed, it is doubtful if there is even a dinghy in the whole country.

The Back-Block Bachelor who related in the “Woman’s World” a neat way to boil an egg. was doubtless referring to the übiquitous hen’s egg. But there are other problems in the matter of boiling eggs that one does not- encounter until fate puts one down in the back, of beyond in some foreign country. For example, what should one do when confronted with the problem of boiling an ostrich’s egg. Has any mathematician produced a set of tables whereby it is possible to apply correction factors to the standard time it takes to boil a hen’s egg?

It is said that an ostrich egg provides food enough for a dozen men. But it takes proportionately so much longer to boil, some two hours, that its compactness is set off by the necessity to rise that much earlier to cook the breakfast. Even penguin's eggs that are becoming popular in many parts of Europe, including England, depart considerably from the time standards of a normal egg. They are about three times the size of a hen’s egg. But they must be boiled for thirty minutes.

For some reason the word "breakfast” is practically synonymous with the word “egg.” But eggs are by no means confined in their uses to the breakfast table or for that matter to any other meal. At one time'some three centuries ago, eggs formed an important ingredient in the paint that artists used. It is said that colours made up in that way have never faded. To-day the makers of photographic printing paper use up enormous quantities of eggs. These people use eggs that, having passed from “boilers” to “poachers,” are not even suitable for making cakes.

Eggs that have reached a stage that can best be described as explosive are snapped up by tanners and the makers of kid gloves. Only the yolks are used. One great firm of tanners use nearly a million eggs every year. Chemists also use the homely egg in large quantities. They are especially valuable in the making of liniments. In fact one famous patent embrocation consists of nothing more than two chemical substances intimately mixed with white of egg.

It is reported that there are examples in Wellington at the moment of “paper”, money made out of two-ply wood. Naturally this unique paper monev hails from America; a country that is still suffering from a “unique complex.” In this case, however, the big brains in the Chamber of Commerce. Tenino, who thought out the idea must content themselves with second place in the matter of novelty. Strange as it may seem. China beat this record no less than 600 years ago. The great trader Kubla Khan, in to tide over a moment of stress in his finances, actually issued mulberry leaves as bank notes. These notes were printed in gold on the le J They represent the oldest -known bank notes in the world. So far as is know n onlv one of these notes is in existence to-day For centuries it belonged to the Emperor of China. It belongs today to an Englishman who bought 1. after the Boxer rebellion. ! • » . » • Forever! ’Tis a single word! And yet our fathers deem’d It two: Nor am I confident they err<!». Are you?. —Calverley.