RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 25, Issue 275, 16 August 1932, Page 8

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current Events LOCAL AND GENERAL

(By

Kickshaws.)

Whales off the American coast hare been observed putting their heads together, and then swimming round in circles. Has the conference craze reached them too? It is reported that a meat war, business versus blood ties, is raging at Ottawa. The trouble is that blood may be thicker than water, but It doesn’t freeze so well. ♦ ♦ # An American farmer has peppered a couple of golfers with buckshot. A bulletin from the attending surgeon further indicates that Jie made 13 holes in two. • * » I am always interested in your bright and amusing column, writes W. Gibson. Your paragraph about “bulls” reminds me of an Irishman’s definition of a “bull”:—If you saw 20 cows lying down in a paddock and one of them was standing up, well that would be a bull. Did you ever hear the yarn about the American visitor staying at a Palmerston hotel, who at breakfast remarked to the waitress what beautiful milk and butter had been served. “Yes,” said she, “we get them from Bulls.” One can well sympathise with the authorities at Nebraska, United States of America, who are so anxious to discover whether to give the prophet Ezekiel a beard or not All one hundred per cent Americans are to-day just a little touchy on the subject of beards. For there are still in existence two issues of stamps in that country with Columbus as the central figure. Unfortunately in their efforts to give this great navigator his due they have - been quite unable to decide whether to give the good man a beard or not. Possibly for .that reason Columbus is shown in one issue in sight of land with a face remarkable for its smooth, clean-shaven effect, while in the other issue the poor fellow is shown with a ( face remarkable for the long flowing beard attached to It As it is obvious that both these cannot be correct, it is therefore all the more essential that no compromise of- this nature should be allowed to mar the dignity of the prophet Ezekiel. v • ♦ As a matter of fact, it would be quite unfair to leave an impression that Americans are the only individuals who have gone sadly astray in the portrayal of old-time fashions. Just before the Royal Academy opened an artist who had been honoured by having a picture hung, paused before his canvas of Adam and Eve, and asked a market gardener friend of his what he thought of the painting. After studying the work of art intently for a few minutes, the market gardener replied, “The picture is excellent, but why have you placed in Eve’s hand a variety of apple which has only been produced during the last 20 years?” Possibly It would be well if artists always got their expert friends to pass judgment upon their creations before it was' too late to remedy mistakes. A postman, who has retired from carrying the mails on foot ii a remote part of Germany, is showing some little pride, according to a news item, because during the course of his duties he has travelled a total distance of three times round the world, or some 60,000 miles in all. Perhaps this postman does not realise that in England, and possibly in other countries, there are postmen still on the job who have done their 20 miles a day for 50 years without a break. Totalled up this distance works out at 300,000 miles, accounts for 500 pairs of boots, 25 pairs of trousers, and sufficient remedies for corns to last an average man three lifetimes. * • * It has been shown that even a housewife puts up a pot insignificant walking record while busy with her daily household duties. Conservative estimates put her week’s walk at 50 miles. By the age of 70 years she has probably, in trotting round her kitchen, covered ground to the equivalent of six times round the world. No wonder the linoleum wears out. Professional dancers in the course of their profession travel on the dance-room floor a distance only slightly in excess of their stay-at-home sisters. # • • In the matter of unconscious ‘ walking records, the ever restless schoolboy carries all before him. His weekly total, although normally about 70 miles, varies between that figure and 100 miles. If he lived to be a schoolboy for all his life, he would compete with even the most determined postman. As a matter of fact, the average individual takes very little trouble to save himself unnecessary steps. It has been estimated that the average housewife with a little forethought might save herself 12 miles useless walking a week, the equivalent in the course ot a year of a walk from New Zealand to Sydney and back. In the same manner some amateur statistician has proved that if all the dustbins of Wellington were kept one yard nearer the gate, it would mean a saving of 2000 miles to the dustmen every year. J. W. Hussey, of Gonville, raises an interesting point in a long letter in which he says:—ln “The Dominion” recently you made reference to recordings that have been kept of various people of note. At the end of your paragraph you say: “One can but hope that the unborn future will appreciate our efforts in this line just as we should have appreciated being able to hear Nelson utter his famous order at Trafalgar, Disraeli discuss the Suez Canal and Queen Elizabeth discuss Mary Queen of Scots.” It may interest some of the readers of your column to know that in connection with radio developments, scientists say when further Improvements are made we shall be able to recover past speeches out of th air again. For instance, we may yet hear speeches by Queen Elizabeth, made to her soldiers when they marched off to meet the Spanish Armada, ‘•erhaps some of your scientific readers may be able to throw some more light on these matters. It is certainly true from the logic of mathematics that a train of waves, once started, can never die out. As speech is no more than a train of sound waves, vsords spoken centuries ago must still be travelling around at the speed of 1100 feet a second. Just where they would be now is problematical. The Idea is not so fantastic as might be Imagined, for. after all, the light that reaches us from even a near star started off some time in the reign of Queen Elizabeth, or even earlier. The star to-day may actually be not there at all.