RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 25, Issue 218, 10 June 1932, Page 10

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current Events LOCAL AND GENERAL (By Kickshaws.) According to a film actress a woman should never hurry through her toilet. This Insures that when she leaves her boudoir she is nearly always late. .Owing to the slump it is stated that landlords of public houses in England are living from hand to mouth. In good times of course, it is the customers who keep things going from hand to mouth.

A newly married couple in England "are said to have travelled by train on their honeymoon for the first time in their lives. Perhaps this can be explained by the fact that possibly it was the first honeymoon of their lives.

Naturally we are all sorry to hear that Kubelik has lost all his money in bad speculations. But his position is not so bad that there is no ray of hope. If he has already earned £750,000. as reported, out of his genius, he may do so again. During this period of temporary penury Kubelik should still have a steady Income from his gramophone recordings. In the case of many artists of repute this alone represents a four-figure income. Indeed Heifetz, the violinist, is said to receive a sum running into five figures from this source alone.

The slump may have affected values in most commodities, but slump or no slump artists of the standing of Kubelik should be able to pick up a thousand pounds in a very short time. Kreisler, for example, can earn a thousand pounds any time he feels disposed to give a recital at the Albert Hall. Thibaud, Corto, and Casals can earn a similar sum for a twohour chamber concert In London or New York. Not all of us realise that when Backhaus visited Wellington the receipts for his two concerts at the Town Hall were over one thousand pounds.

It must not be thought that Kubelik’s ability to recuperate financially, thanks to the unrealised capital left him in his art, is denied other less fortunate individuals. A man may literally be worth his weight in gold without owning a single penny piece. This capital may take the f<?rm of muscles and sinews or the more valuable form of brains. One expert went so far as to say that only an imbecile did not have at least £lOOO invested in his physical or mental equipment.

A farm labourer who works for £1 a week and his keep has a physical capital, if we include his keep, equivalent to nearly £2OOO. Artisans who earn 50/- a week have a capital of bodily skill worth over £3OOO. Every clerk receiving a salary o'f £2OO is really receiving the interest on his capitalised value of £5000; an investment just as secure, if not more so, than the same sum invested in most stocks and shares at the moment. The value in gold of a man of average weight is about £BOOO. Everybody who receives a salary of over and above £3OO a year is at this rate worth his weight in gold.

It should be no surprise to learn that the British soldier is to fight future wars in Norfolk jackets plus fours, and possibly gaiters. For .many years a change of this nature has been overdue. When the change is made we will wonder how we managed to win the last war at all. One statistician has calculated that although the war lasted four years, half that time was wasted winding putties and cleaning buttons. Moreover, out of the remaining two years one year was wasted on inspections to see that the putties and buttons had been properly wound and cleaned. Obviously the next war is bound to be much more efficient. So the British Army progresses.

Those pictures of our early Victorian heroes fighting their battles in ornate tight-fitting fancy costumes may have justified that caption of “the thin red line.” But we cannot but marvel that our forbears won any war at all wearing such unserviceable dress. When conservative adherents to the military fashion plates of those days sent troops to fight In India it eventually became obvious, even to a British General, that if his men were to be prevented from evaporating completely some very drastic changes would have to be made in the accepted dress of the British soldier. The fact that it took only some forty years to make those changes is indeed a tribute to the efficiency of the War Office of past days.

,The schooner that has been bought for 30/- at Cape Town, as mentioned in the news yesterday, by no means constitutes a record bargain, despite the fact that It had cost £12.000 when new. There died a few years ago in Guildford workhouse a man named James Cutterson Pratt, who some fifty years ago bought the whole of the land upon which Johannesburg now stands for a sum of £350. But for the fact, that his land was confiscated when the Boer Republic was declared the 18.000 acres he acquired would have been worth when he died at least £20,000,000. • 9 f

Perhaps it may be argued truly that, the bargain mentioned in the preceding paragraph was not a bargain, because perverse fate contrived to do the unlucky purchaser out of his profit. If that be correct, we must go to Mexico and be introduced to Maximilian Damm, one-time penniless clerk. In the course of bis business in a down-at-heel country store he was persuaded to acquire a worthless silver mine for a bad debt of £l5. When Damm went to investigate his acquisition he discovered a new lode in the far-from-worthless mine. Subsequently he used to complain bitterly when his £l5 purchase failed to return him £700,000 a year.

I have been a constant reader of “The Dominion” for over three years, writes Albert F. Lord. During that time I have found your column one of 'he greatest interest. I wish to express my appreciation and that of my friends for the wide variety of topics discussed in your column. I notice, also, that you supply words of songs, poems, etc., to correspondents. Would I be asking too much if I asked you to publish in your column the words of the Maori songs “E Pari Ra” and “Canoe Song”? Unfortunately there is not room for all the verses. Here is the chorus of “E Pari Ra.” The chorus of the “Canoe Song” will bo published another time. Tenn ra tahuri mni E te tan kia man kl an Tcnci ra nhau te tamri nei Ma hop kna wehe nei Haere ra mahara ma! E te tan kia man ki an Haere ra ka tuturu ahan Haere ra. —Acknowledgements to Tahiwi Kingl.