TEN CHRISTMAS COMMANDMENTS

Dominion, Volume 22, Issue 72, 18 December 1928, Page 21 (Supplement)

TEN CHRISTMAS COMMANDMENTS

Which will Help Towards a Brighter Christmas

1. —Thou shalt not give the children of your sister, your brother, your best friend, or any other children, presents of cheap coloured sweets. Neither «halt thou present them with catapults, drums, stories of the penny dreadful type, or water pistols.Shouldat thou bear all this well in mind when shopping for Christmas, then ■halt thy friends round about thee rise up and call thee blessed. 2. —Thou shalt endeavour to eat in moderation, and to nobly put away those large boxes of fruits and sweets for other less over-loaded days. For what is the use of thy pleasure in the good things of life, if thou shouldst become satiated and morose through indigestion? 3. —Thou shalt laugh and be merry, yea, even though thy Aunt Maria shouldst tell thee for the ninety-first time about her sciatica, and Uncle James shouldst recall the awful indiscretions of thy youth, at the same time tipping thee a sixpence from out ■of his bounteous plenty, or even wishing thee merely the season’s.greetings. 4. —Thou shalt give thy wife whatever gift she yearns for. Do not cheat thyself and her into the belief that thou dost not know what to buy. Hearken unto her beforehand with a willing ear. 5. —lf the Spirit of Christmas shall successfully elude thee, then shalt thou make a practice of reading Christmas by Dickens u” to the very eve of Christmas. Such tales can be with good effect read nloud in the Tube or train with suitable gestures, thus saving valuable time at such a season. Thou shalt not send white elephant presents to thy friends and re-

Proud Father —“I tell you, sir, that boy of mine will be a wonder!” Friend (wearily)—‘‘What wonderful (thing has he done now?’’

Proud Father—-“ Why, the other day he ate all the preserves in the pantry. I overheard him say, as he smeared the cat’s face with the stuff, ‘l'm sorry, Tom, to do this, but I can't have the old folks suspect me.’"

latives. Neither shall thou send on the presents of a previous year in a kind of general post, or round robin. Or, again, to resurrect old Christmas ' cards and to send them out once again j upon their travels shows a complete ‘ lack of morals. 7. —Thou shalt not say things when 1 the turkey leaves the table and sits 1 affectionately upon thy knee. As thy wife saith so often with truth, remem- < her and respect the ears of youth, for i they are ever pitchers gaping to be : tilled with what is forbidden. 1 8. —Thou sh t be overcome with joy ( and gladness, whatever may be given ( to thee upon this great day. be it a ] pet water snake from, your son. or a | new carpet-sweeper from your wife. ( Blessed is he who expects little nt Christmas-time. • 9. Thou shalt not forget to buy a sprig of mistletoe under which to kiss thy wife. This is a cheap and simple * way in which to make thy Christmas a great and happy one. t 10. And, last of all, thou shalt not < look at, think of, or speak about, those • bills—until after Christmas! i