WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 21, Issue 122, 21 February 1928, Page 8

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM

.(By

T.D.H.)

Going to church in some parts of Britain in these days is a whole heap more exciting than attending a dogfight. Major Fitzurse has just returned from a 2000-mile motor tour in the north which is claimed to have been unique in character, for the Major assures us that at no stage of his journey did he have his license suspended or endorsed, nor has he so far received a summons tor a breach of the parking regulations, speed limits, etc., in any one of the fifty-two boroughs, fifty-seven counties, and fourteen road boards, whose territory he traversed. This achievement, however, cannot officially _be registered as a record until the expiration of six months after the completion of the tour, for the local bodies, we understand, may serve their summonses any time during that period there are rumours in fact, 'that when the new motor regulations come into force the pressure of business in preparing traffic cases wall be so great that it will probably be necessary to extend the period for serving summonses to motorists to five rears after the commission of the alleged offence, or possibly to abolish the time limit altogether.

The Major informs us that he is preparing for the market a very useful accessory for motor touring, and which, indeed, it was the main object of his tour to test. This is a liquid prepared from a secret formula, the result of some months’ intensive research. It is palatable in the mouth, tonic in its action, and a powerful breath deodoriser. Consumed immediately after partaking of refreshment on tour it enables the traveller to drive on in as complete security from arrest and suspension as a magistrate is for sitting on the bench after partaking of a whisky and soda at lunch. This new preparation will make the roads so much safer for motorists that Major Fitzurse as a service to the travelling public may present the formula to the Department of Scientific and Industrial Research as a gift to the nation.

“It must not be thought,” added the Major, “that I have any quarrel with the administration of the traffic laws at present. It is now a well-established principle that if a motorist’s breath betravs anv trace of recent consumption of alcohol when subjected to olfactory examination by the police, he may be suspended from driving a motor vehicle for any period not exceeding life and fifty years afterwards—l think that is the maximum term. Some people consider this a hard fate. But it must not be forgotten that nobody ever smells the breath of people who drive horses and traps, and the road is by no means closed to persons thus suspended.

“The leniency of the Courts in these cases,” added the Major, “is really remarkable when the circumstances are fully considered. How many, people ever reflect that instead of taking away a motorist’s license to drive the. Magistrates have equal power to deprive him of his right to consume alcoholic liquor by making out a prohibition order against him ? Is this cruel thing ever done?’ No, sir! Justice is tempered with mercy, and when benzine and beer are found" to mix unsuitably the legal canon has happily been established in Ulis' country that the citizen’s inalienable right is to stick to the been bo firm is the attachment of the magistracy to this admirable principle that they' world sooner deprive a motorlorry driver of his livelihood than impede his access in any way to the cup that drowns his sorrows. This stand in the administration of justice is all the more admirable and disinterested in view ot the fact that the State now collects much more revenue per annum from the man who motors than it does from even the most seasoned and thirstiest of its citizens. In no other direction are the humanitarian principles to which all our political parties are attached so clearly visible in action.”

A cub reporter, frequently reprimanded for prolixity and warned to be brief, turned in the following: “A shocking affair occurred last night. Sir Edward Hopeless, a guest at Lady Panmore’s ball, complained of feeilng ill, took his hat, his coat, his departure, no notice of his friends, a taxi, a pistol from his pocket, and finally his life. Nice chap. Regrets and all that.”—“London Humorist.”

A learned psychologist comes forward with the suggestion that in motoring accidents some inquiry ought to be made concerning the family life and personal temper of the drivers concerned. “If,” he says, “upon arising in the morning the fire has failed to draw, the eggs have got cold, the coffee is too weak, a suit has not been returned from the cleaner’s; if. upon trying to start the car, the battery refuses to function, a tire is dowm, or the supply of petrol exhausted; if, once upon the highway, the car is splashed with mud, misses and backfires, or is forced into a collision with some driver m s like frame of mind, these, or any one of them, mav explain why he is jeopardising the lives of pedestrians and making life miserable for others hastening to' work. Under the influence of distraught temper men become unnatural; even some of the mildest have been known to resort to oaths they have never before employed, or to assume nn unrecognisable impatience and pugnacity, and, suiting the action to their moods, sten on the accelerator or jam on the brakes in a wholly unexpected manner.” Which merely means to say that we can in future blame our wives at home for what we do on the road. Hostess (to gloomy youth) : “I hope vou enjoved vour game with Major Swift. He's awfullv clever at cards.’ Youth: “I should think he is! He started by telling my fortune, and now lie’s counting it.” THE ROAD TO LONDON. The road from Lyne to London When Sussex downs are green As velvet made of fairy moss To deck a fairy queen. Runs gay past many a Hawthorne hedge Along a river’s windy edge Where gold laburnums lean. When Jenny went to London, On every fragrant gust Of wind was borne a blackbird’s song, And daffodillies thrust Their dainty heads through pasture bars To see who danced beneath the stars Down to the city’s dust. Swift leads the road to London Bv flowering lane and lea While every breeze and brook and bird Slakes springtime minstrelsy. But slow, O weary-slow to tread, Long, long the self-same road that led Mv Jehnv home to me. —Mary Sinton Leitch in the “Commonweal.”