WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 19, Issue 47, 19 November 1925, Page 8

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM

(By

T.D.H.)

Sir Arthur Keith lias told the Royal Society of Medicine that mankind is not intended to live more than 45 years on earth.—After that it is just existing.

Twelve Soviet officials have been sentenced to death for theft..— They may abolish capitalism in Russia, but capital punishment is too handy to giv< up.

New Zealand’s lone . Labour daily paper, the “Grey River Argus,’! has just celebrated its diamond jubilee, and in a supplement appropriate to the occasion recalls many incidents of the good old da vs when the West Coast was the West Coast. The “Argus,” of course, was not of the same political complexion to begin with as it is today, for in its time it has run the whole range of Liberalism, Reform, and Labour, with a spasm of Single. Tax thrown in for variety. However, it ha» always kept its end well up as Westland’s only morning journal, and its present proprietors are full of gratitude for the wide' support throughout the district that has kept 'the old journal going through fire, flood, and famine (paper famine, that is) since November, 1865.

The last of the "Argus’s” mishap* was fire, a fire which gutted the premises six years back, three months after its Labour proprietors had taken over. It was a big blow, as there was no superfluous capital, to say the least, in the new venture, and the editor records with pride how volunteers came from the wharf, the mines, and the mills to “get her going again,” and set to and built a better home for the “Argus” than ever it had before. Everybody was roped in to help. It is recorded that Mr. P. J. O’Regan was incautious enough to look around to view the work of reconstruction, and whereupon a grizzled miner promptly shouted: "Here, Pat! No d idlers here. Come on I” Pat did, and duly shovelled in -his “whack” of stone for the concrete floor, as did many a citizen of Greymouth. So it seems that if the old gold digging days are over; the old West Coast spirit is still the same as ever.

Greymouth’s champion flood is duly mentioned in the "Argus’s” . jubilee number, and a strenuous night it seems to have been in the “Argus” office with the staff manfully struggling to get the paper out with the big news, provided the water didn’t rise over their necks in the course of the operation. They had a boat tied up at the door by way of an emergency exit, and the external dampness was kept from penetrating intp the system by means of the well-established West Coast remedy. That was away back in 1872, when no fewer than seventy houses were undermined by the river in one night and washed out to sea over the bar, some of them on fire, and a good big fire was burning in the still stationary part of the town. Even the West Coast rivers don’t do things in this exuberant way any longer—or perhaps the local inhabitant is better acquaiuted with their ways than he was half a century ago.

Americans with a dislike to being reformed by the innumerable organisations carrying on agitations to force mankind into the straight and narrow path bv legislative enactment are stated to be showing some interest in a commercial organisation reported as in/ course of formation in New York. Tins bodv is thinking of calling itself the Universal Antis or the Anti-Speechmak-ers’ League, and will furnish demonstrations of a hostile character to order on the most reasonable terms. Satisfaction is guaranteed, and it is. promised that meetings will be efficiently broken up, politicians “met” on landing in the city, theatrical performances boohed, processions dispersed, and social inconveniences generally dealt with in a satisfying manner.

A London “Morning Post” scribe x prints a number of items from a rough draft of the league’s tariff of charges. The rates seem most reasonable, and it will thus be well within the reach of persons of modest financial resources to shove a satisfying spoke in the wheels of progress. Here are some of the items: Waving flags, 3 dollars per flag per hour. Ditto, with interruptions, five dollars and seven dollars, accord-, ing to sex of interrupter. Ditto, with' interruptions violent enough to compel forcible removal, 10 dollars, plus medical charges, if any, Eggs thrown, one dollar to 10 dollars per egg, according to place, nature of egg, and status of victim. Eggs extra. Demonstration at theatrical performance, 25 dollars. Ditto, conducted by well-known dramatic- critic, 50 dollars. Demonstration at marriage ceremony by former husband or rejected suitor, 300 dollars. This is a special cut rate price, and as much depends on the skilful co-operation of the said husband or suitor, the league does not .guarantee results. The most expensive item on the programme is: Processions broken up, 500 dollars to 3000 dollars, according to size of and nature of procession, amount of assistance likely to be rendered by bystanders, etc. Ancillary to some or all of the above we have the item: Shooting to kill, 5 dollars. For demonstration purposes no charge is made under this head.—The low rate for the last item is probably accounted for by the large amount of competition by private enterprise in this direction in the United States.

"H.8.M.” writes from Pahiatua apropos of a recent cable message from Australia:—“l notice that the safest course to pursue when motoring at 70-odd tn.p.h. and the steering gear proves untrustworthy is to run into a dense crowd. The driver and his mechanic will in all probability escape with a mere shock—and even that will be shared by a section of the crowd. Can you suggest a scheme whereby the population of New Zealand may be so boosted in the near future as to provide crowds sufficiently* dense to act as safeguards at all the more dangerous spots on. our road ?”—The only suggestion we can make is that fhe Government might bring in immigrants from some of those European , buffer States that were established by the Versailles Peace Conference.

“I want some collars for my husband,” demanded a formidable looking lady in a mercer’s shop, "How will this shape suit?” said the salesman, producing a boxful. "Whj do vou show me 13|<-inch collars ?” asked the lady. “Well, madam,” was the reply, "our experience is tha*’ all husbands whose wives buv their collars always wear size 13}.” THE GO-GETTER. The highway of life has a hundred who peter To one who will stick and become a repeater. To seer and dreamer the world is a debtor, But passes its handsomer gifts to the 1 getter. The Go-Getter goes till he gets what he goes for; The Go-Getter works till he reaps what he sows for He fixes a goal and resolves when he sets it, Tlie wav to the prize is to go till he gets it. , —Robert Bruce Ihurber.