WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 16, Issue 178, 16 April 1923, Page 6

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM (By T P H.) Marseilles doctors are said to have secured £430,000 for treating imagin' ary wounded soldiers.—Who says ab* sent treatment is not successful P

France and Belgium propose to take the “A” and “B” bonds in the reparations, leaving Britain the “C” bonds. —The wait-and-see bonds is probably what they mean.

Mr. de Valera, we are told, only escaped his pursuers by his expertnesa in disguise.—He was even mistaken for an Irishman on occasion.

A pathetic story is told in the cable news this morning of an Austrian lady _ who has appealed in vain to the magistrate to know whether she is married to one husband or two twins. Her husband always looks the sama when he comes home, but he doesn’t always seem the same or behave the same, and as apparently he has a twin brother, identical in all respects, and the lady in accordance with Austrian custom had a civil marriage ceremony and a religious married ceremony, she has begun to suspect that she married one twin at one ceremony and the other at the other. Major Fitzurse being a twin himself is deeply interested in the problem presented by this case. The question is whether the lady is—(1) Bigamously married to two twins; (2) not married to anybody, ’.or (3) married to' the twin she wouldn’t have married if she had been able to tell the difference between him and his. brother. “This sad case,” said the Major, “could not occur in a progressive country where people learn from the newspaper advertisements at a very early.age always to insist on the genuine article and refuse all substitutes.”

“There is always the possibility in the Austrian twins case,” added Major Fitzurse.. “that the fear of having the other twin brother palm himself off as her husband may have got on the good lady’s nerves. It is naturally irritating not to be able to tell whether it is your husband or your husband’s relations who have come to dinner. At the same time it may be the lady’s real husband all the time, and the poor man may be the victim of double personality with two distinct dispositions. This is a well-recognised scientific phenomenon, accepted, I believe, by even such sceptical investigators as Sir Conan Doyle. Dual personality is incipient in most of us,” added the Major, “and it may be that sometimes the lady’s, husband comes home pleasant and jovial, and sometimes he conies home sober.”

“8.C.A.” writes: “Can vou tell me if it is true that the New Zealand Government has stopped erecting headstones on the New Zealand soldiers’ graves in France in order to use the stone for making snooker balls for the proposed returned soldiers’ club in Wellington?”

No one in England seems to have had the courage so far to make a serious effort to give English towns and villages the names they are called by, and I remember- an occasion a few years ago when on an- Englishman speaking of Rutherglen as it spelt quite a time elapsed before the Scotsmen present realised he was speaking of “Ruglen.” After Worcester and Leicester one is prepared for a trap in Cirencester, which you will have to call “Sisseter” if you ever wish to reach it by a road that is not signposted. But it is unwise to be too sure of any English place-name until you have heard it spoken. Glomestershire gives you “Amesbury” for Almondsbury, “Coonesbury” for Con? gresbury, “Chosen” for Churchdown, and “Uddenmucket” for Woodmancote. In the eastern counties one finds “lossy” for St. Osyth,” “Wyndham” for Wymondham, “Wunmerield” for V/aidringfield, and “Chimston” for Chelmondiston. The Surrey villages Leigh and Chari wood are called “Lie” and “Chollood.” Further south, in „ Sussex, Hurstrr.onceux, is known as “Horsemounces,” Heathfield as “Heffle,” and Bodlam as “Bodjam.” In one case, that of Uttoxeter, even the natives cannot agree on a standard pronunciation, for some of them call it “Exeter” and others call it “Utcheter.”

Some people are broadened by a visit to Britain, while others are flattened. A big man is often a little man who took advantage of an opportunity. Although the cable message about Captain Murphy's walk across Africa came through at a late hour last night I could not forbear ringing up Major Fitzurse to ascertain his views on the captain’s remarkable experiences with the man-eating lion. The Major, although somewhat ‘ irascible at being called to the telephone, informed me that a great many people had walked across Africa, and he failed to see anything singular in a man-eating lion disliking porridge. “As for lions being timid animals and running away,” he added, “there is as much difference between the courage of one lion and another as there is between the veracity of one traveller and another.” In’ tlie portion of Africa in which the Major resided principally the chief game ha hunted was not lions but wild elephants. Lions were as common as rabbits in those days, and the. Major preferred elephants as offering the more exciting sport. Tho Major, in fact, built a commodious and well-ap-pointed bungalow entirely of the tusks of elephants he had shot. Tlie ivory had a very pleasing effect against the green of the tropical jungle, and the Major and his native boy Sambo used to polish it regularly with a leading American dentifrice. In the course of time, when signs of decay .were apparent, the Major drilled out the decaved narts of the ivory, and inserted fillings’of gold, which was very plentiful in those parts. “Eventually,” says the Major, “I took the gold fillings cut as too ostentatious, but replaced them with porcelain, which I thought in better taste. This was the only ivory bungalow ever built.”

Mr. Bosanouet, the well-known English K.C., tells a story of a defendant who was carefully schooled by his lawyer to be very exact in his evidence, and to make no bones about saying he could not remember, if any question was put to him in cropexamination, unless he was perfectly sur jof the reply. He took the advice a trifle too literally, and could remember nothing when under the harrow. Finally, counsel for the prosecution asked him if he had ever been guilty of a similar offence before. Consistent to the end, the defendant said:. “I can’t remember.” The cross-examiner, very well satisfied, resumed his seat. FOR YOU. This is for you, this awful quietness. For you each window’s down, each shade is drawn; For you the women go in sombre dress; Yes; and for you half-stifled sobs are born. Yet if you came again, you’d rush to plav On tbit piano they have shut so tight; You’d mock black gowns, and in your laughing way You’d push the windows up for air and light. —Violet Alleyn Storey., in Harper'll Magazina.