A SUPER AFFAIR

Dominion, Volume 11, Issue 114, 31 January 1918, Page 6

A SUPER AFFAIR

A TALE OF A TENNER (By "Wi.") On the whole I'm glad it was Jinks. I'eoplo like Jinks get what's coming to them in the long run. Coelum may ruat, but Justitia keeps on doing it. And she did it to Jinks; even unto the uttermost shilling did she do if. Justitia, my hat! Jinks, you must know, is a bore. Whatever you may say or do in the presence of Jinks he will pounce on as matter for argument. He gets me sometimes that I feel that I could scream like a woman. You know tho feeling. I remember once 1 stooped to tie my boot-lace. It was my hootlace, and my affair, but Jinks immediately made it his, and proceeded to show me how- to. tie the |h.ing properly. That night I had to cut the lace with a. knife—new lace it was. I had my own theory about the boot-lace. If we didn't have to stoop down occasionally to tie our boot-lace wo would never be ablo to pick up sovereig-is and things—sixpence is my limit to date—off tho pavement without exciting suspicion. And if ladies could tie shoe-laces that never cam« undone one of our principal chivalry stunts would be gone—you know, you put one knee of your best pants on the dusty road and olfer the other for the shoe. They like doing that to us, and we—ohi we don't mind!

But this is getting a long way off the story. I set out to tell you what Justitia did to Jinks. Well, it happened last Anniversary Day. You remember that day in Wellington! Blue sky, blue water, a tempered wind, and only the grouchers 'left at home. I had got on to the boat for the return trip to town. Jinks saw me, (legged my steps, and sat down beside me. There was no escape. The crowd swarmed about us. "Aba!" be said. "So this is what you've been doing with yourself?" ; "Hullo!" I replied. "Had a good day?" "Perfect, my boy. I've had a great time-i-a super-time, I miglit s'-iy." I shuddered. Super is Jinks's latest obsession. Nobody paid much retention to this word till somebody called one of our extra special battleships, a super-Dreadnought. That set them going. Before long we had the superman, the super-submarine, and the super-features at the movies. Now came Jinks with his super-time. It occurred to mo that Jinks might begile the tedium of the voyage for me. The way was long, and the boat was slow. "Jinks," I said, "I wonder why it is that this country has never produced a super-criminal." "A super-criminal I" he exclaimed. "Yes. A super-something in the spieler class that could collect the elusive simoleou, not by ones or twos cr threes, but by thousands. One of these fascinating, scintillating chevaliers of crime that never wake us up when they're going through us/ live m the best hotels, travel first-class, own motor-cars, baffle the police, and provide the community with a stimulating sense of insecurity." "What an extraordinary idea!" said Jinks. "Not at all, Jinks," I said. "It is a fact that we haven't raised a supercriminal amongst us. I ask you, Why?" "No poverty, no incentive," he said I shook my bead. "The man I'm thinking of could do well at anything, but he wants to get rich quick. His game is the easy money. One night's work and a year's travel abroad with a man-servant, an eye-glass, and a bulldog." "I'll tell you," said Jinks. "This country hasn't yet raised any Miperanythiiig. Nature's too kind to us. God's Own Country and all that kind of thing, you know.' We don't have to scratch for a crust—no competition, no weakest going to tho wall, and so on. We're never really up against it, and consequently we lack ginger. That's it—no ginger." "I'm inclined to agree with you, Jinks," I said, tiring of the subject. "Go to tho races on Saturday?" "Yes; had a rattling super-fine day, too," he said, slapping his breastpocket. "And brought back a super-wad? "A whole tenner." I smiled. "You'd better watch out, Jinks, or the super-criminals will get you." "I don't think," said Jmks. "Excuse me," said the man next to Jinks, "may I have a match? These I've got won't scratch." It was like the voice of Providence. Jinks immediately turned round, produced his box, and became immersed in a discussion on wax-matches. I relapsed into a blissful peace. The debate lasted till the boat got to town, when Jinks's companion, excusing himself, made a short-cut over the lower rail to the wharf and disappeared, thankful, thought I to myself, to escapo from tho disputations, Jinks. "Interesting chap, that," said Jinks, as we squeezed our way along the crowded deck. "Been all over the world, too. Funny thing, I raised that question of the super-criminal, you know, and propounded my theory that the nbsence of him was merely one symptom of a general lack of o-inger in the community. "What did he say?" "Ho didn't agree with me," said Jinks. "Ho said that there was plenty of ginger about, but it only wanted a chance to develop." "I see." "I made a note of some of his points"—another habit of Jinks's— "rather good, I thought. For instance " He felt for his pocket-book. "Good Lord!" he exclaimed. "I've been robbed!" "Eh?" "Piobbnd! I've been robbed, I tell you. AVhoin wad's gone." "Try the other pockets," T suggested. "Hold on, what's this?" Pinned to the flap of his side coat pocket was a card. Jinks unpinned it and looked at it. "Done in," he said, and handed it to me. I looked at it. On one side was written: , "Thanks for the tenner—Ginger." I