THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1193, 31 July 1911, Page 8

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE YIEW. 18l H.C.KJ, i A telegram from Invercargill printed last v.'cok concluded with this sentence: "When tho Ornithic could enter on a 1 dark night, and come alongside without bo much as crushing an egg, it completely Tefuted all the charges"that had boen made against tho harbour." One docs not like to appear suspicious, hut wo ' have heard' of Harbour Boards beforo now which arc not above secretly removing tho harbour eggs on these occasions. Koto the fact that it was "a dark night."

In tho meantime, while we. are waiting for a daylight test, at which this column will bo represented by an inspector, tho Auckland Harbour Board, which seems to have completely misunderstood tho telegram, has sent us this telegram: "Perhaps it did. But ask thorn if it isn't a fact that tho Corinthic had used up all its eggs before arriving. What about tho passengers?"

"I don't try to please anybody," said Mr. M'Keniic at the painters' "social." And yet, somehow, Mr. Massey's smile .grows broader.

The lesson' of Mr. W. T. Stead's alleged interview with Mr. Andrew Fisher:—

Should you como across a statement that "Sir Joseph Ward declares that his country's finite delishted with the title that he bears, and. replying to a Question on tho themo of pnblio dobt, declares ho will not borrow, and has never done so yet," and that "clarity and terseness brighten ed' everything he said," you may bet your bottom dollar that ho'talkod to Hr. Stead. Pause a moment when tho papeT 6ays that Hoddy "smiled and bowed when tho depu-. tation entered in a shy and nervous crowd," and that "all wero quite delighted with his courtesy and tact, as ho listened to their comments on the working o£ the Act," and that "everyone admitted he was very finely bred"—pause, and ask yourself the Question: "Don't it read like Mr. Stead?" When, or if. you find a paper with an interview wherein Sir Jimmv smiles, and answers very gaily, "We shall win," and declares the outlsok's rosy and that Massey's in dismay at the dever work of Ministers while Joseph is away, and-that peace and joy and triumph are the things he sees ahead—you will recog nise immediately the hand of Mr. Stead.

"It takes two / to speak the truth," said Thoreau, "one to speak aud ono to hear." In other words, if you mean by so-and-so what I mean, we can understand each other. That is why the truth is so rarely spoken, in this sense, by Ministers. ,When Sir J. G. Ward, says ho works "for the good of tho community as a whole," your "good" isn't "his," and'you ; understand by "community" something very different from the IS 'firms arid 18 families that ho means. .So much for illustration. The point established, what I want' to say is: Disbelieve everything telegraphed to tho newspapers, from ■Christchurch. Ths Christchurch language is different from the Wellington language in many important respects. Mr. George Booth, tho Christchureh delegate who butted in and assisted Mr. Roderick M'Kenzie to assault tho Acting-Mayor, wound up the proceedings by thanking tho Minister for his treatment of the deputation. When, therefore, you hear from Christchurch that a deputation has been pleased with, the answer of a visiting Minister, you must not jump to the conclusion that theuMinister was kind and gracious.' All yoti can bo sure of is that ho did not throw tho spittoon at the leader of the deputation. Mr. Booth's fellow-delegate, it appears, has told the Christchurch public that Mr. Booth had displayed much "tact." Next timo a Christchurch man compliments you on your "tact," you will know just how you behaved, and I hope you will profit from ■ tho unintentional rebuke. What you call "tact" would be called in Christchurch— what would it bo called in Christchureh? They would have, to invent a now word, making shift in-the meantime with some such phrase as "curious behaviour." Of :ourse it may be that Christchurch regards Ministers as angry divinities, and Sir. Roderick M'Kenzie as a person prone to commit assaults, and is only glad that nobody wa3 injured. But it is moro likely that tho true explanation is, as suggested, that Christchurch ideas and 3hristchurch language arc quite different :rom the ideas and language of Welling;on. Whence, if you aro wise, you will :ut out all tho Christchurch news, put :he clippings in your pocket, and get :ho captain of tho Mararoa (who ought to le a good .interpreter) to translate them nto Wellingtoneso.

"It was only a bit of chaff on my part, lir. Hindmarsh."—Hon. R. M'Kenzie at he painters' "social."

fus, I 'eard 'im at the social, w'ich was really w'y I went, ieein' 'o\v as folks was callin' 'im a terribble evont; In' I studied 'im ouite quiet as I sipped me 'arf-a.n'-'arf, In' I 'eld me breff with terror till 'c said, "It's just mo chaff."

Just 'is bloomin' pleasant chaff! Wich I tried me best ter laugh, Jut I couldn't, an' I shuddored as I drank

me 'arf-an'-'arf. Didn't mind 'is voico 60 raspin' That it nearly cent 'em darf, lut I nearly lost mo.number w'en 'o said as it was chattt

V'ich I've 'eard a, fireman dealin' in tho art o' repartee, Pich I know tho bullock-driver an' 'is gentlo jooderspree, in' them other blokes wot wanderß from tho straight an' narrer porfj Int thoy'ro oiily kids ter Roddy w'en it comes ter bloomin' chaff!

"Chaff," 'e calls 'it-"just mo chaff"! In a way it made mo laugh; 'er I thought about tho life they lead,

the blokes upon 'is staff, Wicli I'd give a. 'Ole day's wages Ter possess a photograph hat showed 'im in a nasty mood, w'ea THIS is "just 'is chaff."

Ail our dear old traditions are going— il. "VVhcn Sir Joseph Ward (or 'was it '.r. Millar?) said 6oracbody "hadn't uckley's chance" wo' laid another tattered ideal away amongst the laven;r. When the harom skirt failed to itch on, we sighed and reconstructed ir ideas about women. When we found . one of Mr. Millar's trains a foctwarmcr lat was really warm, we felt that anher link had broken. And paper-bag •okery is a heavy Wow. But there was ways tho consolation that the Supremo jnrt would preserve its childish and icn ignorance of the common life of en. That consolation has gone. Tho >urt of Appeal has just dccided that ooker and pool arc not games of chance, tore was a vestige of its Eden-simplicity, be sure, in its description of these .mes sis "round games," an enchanting ■d pathetic mark of its wide-eyed virginity. But what could bo more eophistited than this portion of its judgment, Sivered by Sir Joshua Williams; "Bil-i-ds and pool aro not games of chancc. anyone thinks thoy aro, let hira go play thorn for a siake, and he will omptly discover his error." There is i breaking of idols in tho news that r .Toslvua has gone in off the black x times running, and that Denniston J., lwards J., and Chapman J. havo made •ring hazard Kcorda at pool which, if

they could havo equalled them in the plain three-hall game, would havo deprived the Bench of their services and given George Gray foemon 'worthy of his cue. Not'at all. What saddens us is the fact that on tho Bench they do not ask "What ja a long jenny F" They did not even ask for a definition of snooker. They admitted their feats on tho green cloth. . Thero is no need to wait until tho Bench displays its knowledge of "dry Martinis" or leaves unquericd a witness's reference to a "tart." The glory has departed. Tho age of brutal { realism has arrived.