PLAIN TALK TO MISTRESSES.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 772, 22 March 1910, Page 5

PLAIN TALK TO MISTRESSES.

A writer in the "Queen," who discusses the perennial problem of the domestic worker, comes to the conclusion that before domestic work can be put on a satisfactory basis, the Government will have to establish a scheme of domestic education with competitive examinations. This is a matter she claims that should be urgently advocated by the women of the nation. In. the course of the article, which, by tho way, shows that the domestic service problem is a serious one in England, the writer says some plain things about the mistress's part in the difficulty. Between the average mistress and maidservant there exists a sort of antagonism not, perhaps, recognised by either, and more or less in abeyance according to circumstances and reacting temperaments—but still certainly there. Of this there is not one explanation, but many. To begin with, the question of sex is not'entirely to be ignored, for to the reflecting mind it explains "many frictions, small tyrannies, and petty rebellions. The master may speak sharply, give unreasonable orders, unnecessary trouble—on the whole, as from; him,'it is not resented; but Jet the mistress do the same, or less, and at once there will be trouble. '.

■ On the part of the average mistress there seems an abiding conviction. of the necessity'for keeping her maids "in their place"; on the maids' a chronic, if not very., acute, resentment at being kept there. Nor is there usually on the _ mistress's side much attempt to cultivate sympathy of ideas or community of interests; for even if she would like to admit her servants to a share in the small daity interests and. happeniugs of home life, she seldom dares to do it lest they should "presume," and overstep the barrier which convention has set up in their mutual relations. Now, a dignity which has to be so tenderly guarded seems barely worth the guarding/and surely there must be something seriously at fault in these" strained and artificial conditions! But how to amend them? Perhaps .the first necessity—and here the educated side'must take the initiative—is to realise and acknowledge on ■both sides a common human nature; broadly speaking, the same, feelings, same desires, the same weaknesses,' pnysicakand other, v'-.-- ■ . ' Consider for a moment in this connection the. paramount interest, the central-episode, of woman's career—love and,marriage. ; ' ' The daughter of the house becomes enFgaged; if is-the occasion for family rejoicing, ~of pleased recognition by all 4ier'icircie. --The girl- is-congratulated, fussed over, and playfully rallied; she might have done- something specially brilliant or "meritorious.. But in the case of Mary Anne! With bated breath it is whispered that she -'has a young man"; if she is spoken to on the'subject at all it is often in the sense of warning father than congratulation, perhaps coupled with a 'reminder • that she : must not expect to have him "to the house." Instead of the affair being looked upon as perfectly natural, it is regarded rather as a lapse from grace, or, at the best, a. rash act;, and, indeed, left as Mary Anne is to her.own judgment in these matters, it sometimes proves to be so. In any case, this sort of engagement does not ' give her a good' start on her future career as .a married woman.

i Amongst the trivialities which prove stumbling blocks in l the way of a good understanding between mistresses and maids is the question of giving or withholding from 'the latter the written title of "Miss." "Ladies of conservative notions appear to regard the concession of this cheap civility as unworthy ■ truckling to an ever-increasing and dangerous presumption. But the title of "Miss" is, after allj no hereditary honour; so far as it can be considered ,as a birthright, it is the birthright equally of the scullerymaid and the untitled spinster of high degree; and a very little reflection should convince a 'reasoning woman that in conceding it to- her servants she concedes a shadow, a polite fiction, by which she is not in the least a loser, whilst the other side is cheaply gratified.