THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 770, 19 March 1910, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

AvBIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

(By M.C.KJ

. . One :of the <few- interesting items of news received-from-abroad this week was ■that relating to , the action of the Goverhor''of Bengal in ordering the confiscation of a quantity of -waist-clothe, the' borders of which are inscribed with a seditious .Bengali poem.; While the 'natives'concerned 'are .shivering, between.garmentleesness' and the .odiousness of .wearing plain waist-bands, the rest, of ns may consider whether something cannot be made of the Bengali idea. ' There is safely a fortune awaiting the man who puts on the market, a 'collar inscribed .-:* with extracts from the Prime Minister's speeches. For. there must be thousands of us who,"-when .feeling rather down on our- luck, would be greatly refreshed if we could take off our collars and read ibme. stimulating observations on .- ; the magnificence; of v the outlook. ■ listead of carrying'around :a book of. verses one might have a eet of vests with ithe hundred best poems huckabacked, on the backKning.' A : spare ■ half-hour, -could 'b; : healthfully and pleasantly filled in in this way. The friends of the Opposition ihigtit have the statistics of the "Govern-" ihe'nfß maladministration perforated in their hats,, and the friends of. Sir Joseph Ward, when.one of these hats was flour.ished in his. face,, would retort by turning up. his. trouser-ehds and displaying ; : fearful caricature of Mr.. Massey worked -.info: the -pattern of. his. socks:.'.- And. the Socialist,* whenever he passed:aWolfing "product.,of,'bloated, capitalism in the ghape; of a bank,: would ■ disinfect' him--self by taking off his tie and reading 6ome of the pearls of from'Jlr D.'lTLaren's speeches. J. And, if ■pened to meet Mr. 1 Bnddo, it-would.bo delightful to reflect that. one's shirt; sleeves were cov.ered with candid, remarks about him.:/... '::..:'.'■ ':': \

."The first,.contingent'- , ' of. the; season's. mutton-birds trill leave the.Blnff on or >bout tHe 20th insti for' Long Island, Cape. They will be con'feyed, -to the number of. the ' ashing craft Britannia, the-arrangement .being.that the craft makes at least one ■ interim visit.'during their stay "at the "ieland." '.; The". "Otago Daily, Times," .which ■ gives ,us this .'information, omits .to. tell ns whether ,it'isMr.:.Bnddo. or 'j£i. Mackenzie who is responsible for the 'idea iof thus;brightening the . dnllhesa of the mutton-bird's life..-.' ]:■■'. '' ; A -. . .

1 / Lord Kitchener's amazing ignorance of the proper way to Bay farewell to tho [ v country has, bo it is understood! serions- ' , ly shaken the Prime Minister's opinion that our recent visitor' showed, himself to be something of an expert in defence. v Sir Joseph Till read the report agan, Mr. Hogg, M.P., has stated that "it t I would be most ungrateful to desert a constituency like Masterton, and he had no intention of doing so." Some people in':Masterton, however,,.still believe that the electorate may offer an opinion on the. point.- . < ; The "Otago Daily •Times" reports that 1 ' a cyclist ran into a pedestrian in Bowling i Street and knocked him over. "Both 1 men/' says,the "Times," "stood brushing themselves, and ' bystanders ' saw the ! victim, stride up to the one who had ridden him down. Would it be a blow? But there was a word. The r t gentleman who had- been eo unceremoniously treated only looked at the ' , cyclist, bnt the glance spoke volumes. The other, seeing that no one was present to take his name, rode on at greatly reiuoed speed." On the same day, we learn from private sources, a 'man missed a tram in the Octagon, and before the excitement subsided the news spread like trild-iire that an inebriate had been arrested. Hardly had the crowd -reached 1 the police station than it was reported that a boy hod slipped on a piece of orange peel in High Street. No farther incidents occurred, but it was long after midnight before the excited crowd who vere discussing the sensations of the day melted away to their homes.

Tie following letter, dated March 17, : '. 1912, appeal* .to , suggest-that, there are iome : serious 'defects . in Dr. Kndlay's :/ new scheme; -of prison :reform:—"After '■■~' two years' experience'of this.life; I eori- ' eider ' myself ; competent to speak, with' *. 'Coine authority upon the system in vogue. Eln a measure, I am comfortable.,' In'dustry has, given me a study which, though email, and devoid of any window ; opening on to anything ■ like' a decent ;.•.'■_-'. yiew, has the merits of a. few J'.- charts, a 'writing desk that IdonH mind ': laying; is easy and /handsome when the firelight 1 gleams at' dusk.on.the silver inketani, and the silver bowls that hold : iinychrysanthfimums and late roses, and ', a' i cellaret''of some merit. "TheV pictures : ■' ( and carpets. l ; are,not quite what-I , life,• '."■' but 'they will.pass..-'.But this: cannot're-.-' •compense; me ■ for.-, the dreadful smoking : .interval from 6.40't0 7 p.m.' According ';. to ■ the rules,' one must speak' ' only' to .the .men on.'either, side, of.him, .and I'iean tell you we. are" a .pretty.'glum . party. I,' as,you. know, am a'High',Churchman, end'my. neighbours 'are respectively v ■',■ ■ Hindu and a virulent atheist'; Political conversation is also impossible to me; . : for the atheist is a Socialist, and . the doesn't know '.what . .politics are. i!And I, as you know, am a ■ Liberal of the 'Wardite school. The atheist knows .-■ no- game but dominoes,' which -I loathe, ' and the Hindu was the champion heavyweight sword-ewallower, and nothing .' else.' What. the feelings of a--golfer in ;. such 'a'case, must be, I leave: you, to . imagine. I tried them- with.-literature, . ' but there is really no point ,of contact : > between .the' /Police' Gazette'; (the atheist's only; lore) and' the. Celtic school (which -,' is mine). As for the Hindu, he knows of no author but " one Veeshnu. There's •imply nothing to talk aijout but the weather and the warders, and we all prefer: silence to that. '• It happens that : we are so arranged in ; our cells that nobody ; sits next to anybody with whom : he-can .talk.. lam ; certainly "better off ■ than .1 was, for one of my neighbours, : the: Hindu's predecessor, used to spend . the smoking time every day in pouring ;;'■ into my disgusted and helpless ears sbmo theory that he had for' founding a State . bank. And it saddens me when I sco far down the-,line men;.who would, I know,-be kindred.spirits.- Cannot something, be done, to remedy this miserable .-■■•'.- tragedy of. incompatibilities?" '.'.-■■'

"Man was never meant to be the inferior of the microbe."—Dr. Truby King. . Por years, in meek submission to the germ's despotic sway, ■ Since first he pegged a claim in my - . .'interior, I have held him: as a master whom I ■ ■ '. . simply must obey In the manner ttiat is due to a superior. Eβ need only crook hie finger, and my . system would be wrecked— At. his pleasure he could tickle me to dizziness; ■ Was it, strange then,.all considered, that . ■ . I had a deep respect , For a mite that so completely knew his

In rebellious moods I muttered, "Shall a hero firm and bold Knuckle under to contemptible bacteria?" But rebellion shrank to nothing 'neaththe complicated cold That they sent me to remind me I'm inferior. ' Long ago I learned to bear it with a ' philosophic grace, And to check the kindly friend who'd like to flatter me ' As a fresh and. healthy member of the conquering human race: , v , (lie! With billions of the beasta in mj . ; anatomy I) •' "'..." - With the gnawing of the .cocci and the ache of discontent : ■'- . Existence has been growing ever drearier; But at last my .heart is lifted up. for man was" never meant " . . To be the micrococcus's inferior. Had my heart and head been stronger, it ...". had certainly occurred That though able and.': efficient the bacillus is,' - ' ■ He's inferior to Sir Joseph, for it clearly " is absurd : : ■ That ANY sort of germ could have euch '.'■ .'skill 'as'hie.' ' . Shall Man,-who's put th« harness on tts lightning and the Be content to'live and die as the inferior Of the wretched ,Uttle atomy who meaka . into the cream. ■• ■ With the object of encouraging diph- ■'. :■'■ ;theria?. ..' - 'V*':'.-, ' . ' Was the race.'of Nelson,'lßuddo, oae3ai. Shakespeare, Newton, Ward, Designed.to give, the'microbe meat to. '■' ■ feed upon?; ' 1 Are. we never, to'assert ourselves and neave him overboard? ' . ' Eise,. my comrades I .. Bevoll ~ion •Ie agreed ; . upon!:. . •-. . ..- -' ',

.' :"Well\" said Mr, Dooley,,. reflectively, *Tm not snVe'that this here Bullerfoun'. th^-"^^^...']^!^^^^^^.^^^^^, , as Hogan calls it, but he's a change fr'm -th'-;average-visitor,-an'-if; he-stan's f'r annythin' he'll get my vote. Nawthin',' he sajrs,- delighted > hjm , in Aucklan' as'th' , 'larrge' number-iv"good boots worm there, which he raygards as a sign iv prosper'tyV "Tis time that th' visitor fr'm th' effete monarohies ,iy Europe stopped'.' tellid* .us that hei- to sthruok be the fine physique an' th' air,iv courageous' independence- iv th' people. Whenli'satf} Hogan swellin' out his chest an' thryin' t' Ink.; like, Lloyd,.George Dr Dave M'Earen,-! knew ; that v th J Bon'rable Percy, had been giyin' his impressions. I cud'get as iniich 'information..concerrnin' : th'- movemints iy ..distinguished visitors fr'm .watchin' th'-.-airs'iy : ; Hooligan's red , haired; Mary Ann as fr'm rcadin'ih! perrsonal column. ■ .'Tis a -relief t' find sthruck with th' boots. His -riyererice;'-no-doubt, expected. t' fin' th' pop'lation with: their, toes . peepin' through. : the roons,. an', 'tis: small- wondher that ; whin; he H : blaze' iv light fr'm th.' he ,niyer.;iifted. hi.s,.eyes dazzlin' eighb '/"Baj" T afther." day^he^ , .-Bat ; outside' 'the hotel .'dire"' "gorgjn' himseelf on th' footwear, ivth', passers.by. ' The whole wurrid seemed t'.-consist, iv highly polished- leather. In wan. way,. Jawn, he's right enough, but' if s a pity he concenthrated his attention on th' lower latichood. But 'twud ..be more satisfacth'ry ;iv'ry way if he ,cud have gone into ecstasiesover th' inside iv th'. Aucklanders' heads instead- iv" th" outside iv' their feet; Iv, 'coorea,, me .friud, Joe Warrd is. already plannin' how t' take- full advantage; iv, th'. ■possibilities,, iv boots ■ .as, a new' and powerful: arrgument agen th-' enemies' of the .counthry's■ credit .Boot inspecthors'will shorftly be ! .'appointed, an' roe frindßuddo will make a perrsonal tour f encourage th* publio t' join in th' pathriotic inovemint f'r th'-wearin' iv fine fut-cdvers. .Th , State willrissue boots fwurruckers/on. th' leasehol' system, .ah' instead iv photographin' th' scenery, f .sen' Hpnie^';t" , iv "oiii : solid .prosper'ty, partinint' will; send pictures iv.;th'''boots "iv'-th* , crowdi- ,An'- if .yere' a. .'pathrite, Jawni.;ye'll' go; an' polish those degradin'dirrtry : brogues : ye have on.. In fh', manetimei th' -Industhrile,Association: shud loee : iio' time in , ': matin'. a retorrt. t , . Aucklan':,be arrangin'. f'r ■ a ■' Wellington hati.week." ;. •'. ■■•'•'--. ■••'.. i ; ; --.: ■ ■ :-...; "