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Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 769, 18 March 1910, Page 8

"Now, Pat," said a magistrate to an old offender, "what brought you here again?" "Two policemen,'sor," was'the' laconic . reply. "Drunk, I suppose,".' queried the magistrate.'' "Yes, sor," said Pat, "both ; av thim.". : ' ' ,' Doctor—"The room : seems cold, Mrs. Hooligan... Have yon kept, the. thermometer at-seventy,- as I told you?" Mrs. Hooligan—"Sure, an' Oi hev, doctor. There's th' thing in a . toomblor av warrum water at this blissid minnut.". "What is a domestic animal,' mother?" l asked,i\ little boy. '"A domestic animal;" replied'the lady, with a scornful glance at paterfamilias, who was putting on his coat, "is one who'does not spend all his time at-the .'club." . ■>-'• .!:;•_..,. Errand Boy (who has been sent..by his master with a note to his friend's.office) •—"Sir, your friend. must be getting very short-sighted." "Why is that, my boy?" "Because he asked me where my hat was, and it was on my head all the' time." ■ '.','' A cod weighing 2741b. has been caught in the harbour, at Folkestone.'.