Irish Strategy.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXVIII, Issue 3485, 6 September 1937, Page 7

Irish Strategy.

A Southern Irish soldier in France, during the war, received a letter from his wife saying there wasn’t an able-bodied man left, and she was going to dig the garden herself. Pat wrote at the beginning of his next letter; “Bridget, for heavens sake, don’t dig the garden, that’s where the guns are.” The letter was duly censored, and in a short time a lorry load of men in khaki arrived at Pat’s house and proceeded to dig the garden from end to end.

Bridget wrote to Pat in desperation, saying that she didn’t know what to do as the soldiers had got the garden all dug up, every bit of it. Pat's reply was short and to the point; “Put in the spuds.’’

The Aberdonian had been courting his girl for some time and had at last plucked up sufficient courage to propose to her. But somehow, when the moment arrived, things didn’t seem to be quite so easy. “I was here on Monday nicht, wasn t, I, Jeanie?” he began.

“Ye was that.” “Aucl I was here again on Tuesday nlcht?" “That's so." “And I was back again on Wednesday nicht?" “Ye was, lan.” “An’ this is Friday and here I am again. Oh. Jeanie, d'ye no’ smell a rat?”

In one of the Central European countries fines are proposed for those using bad grammar. Suppose the law took steps to make us all speak the mother tongue without error, accent or vulgarity?

“How long does it take a patient to recover from an operation for appendicitis?” Doctor; “Do you meab financially or physically?”

“Johnnie,” asked a visitor, “what are you going to be when you grow up? “I’m going to be an Arctic, exploiei, answered the small hoy. “And now will you give me a shilling, please?" “What do you want a shilling for?” “I want to get six Ice creams, and find out how much cold I can stand, ’