Overtook Him.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXVIII, Issue 3484, 30 August 1937, Page 7

Overtook Him.

A wizened little man charged his wife with cruel and abusive treatment. His better half, or in this case better two-thirds, was a big, square-jawed woman with a determined eye.

The judge listened to the plaintiff's recital of wrongs with Interest. ‘‘Where did you meet this woman who, according to your story, has treated you dreadfully?” his Honor asked.

“Well, judge,” replied the little man, making a brave attempt to glare defiantly at his wife, “I never did meet her. She just kind of overtook me.”

The Best Agent.

Stranger: “Who is the best bicycle agent in your town?" Town Yokel: “I don’t know, but I think Dr. Pellet must be. He recommends bicycle riding to all his patients.”

The village constable was undergoing an examination for promotion, “Suppose,” said the examiner, “that you are accosted late one evening by a charming young woman who tells you that a strange young man had embraced and kissed her. What would you do?” The constable answered without hesitation: “I should endeavor, sir, to reconstruct the crime, with the young woman's assistance.”

“Your husband is always complaining that he leads a dog’s life.” “Yes, he comes home with muddy feet, makes himself comfortable on the hearth-rug, waits until he is fed, and growls."

“Have any recognitions of the publication of my work arrived?” asked the author.

“Yes,” replied the publisher, “a man with the same name as yourself has asked us to insert a notice that he is not the author.”

A little boy went on an errand for an old woman, who, baking cakes, thought she would give him one as a treat. She spread one thickly with jam and gave It to him. A little while after the boy returned. “Thanks for the jam, missus,” he said, “There’s your board back.”

An American was motoring through Coventry on the day of the Godiva procession. A friend told him that if he would pull his car into the side of the road he would shortly see a nude woman go by on a white horse. "Gee,” said the American, "I giiess I’ll wait. I ain’t seen a white horse for years,” The friend passed this on to a Scotsman, who stared blankly for a moment and then said, gravely, “Weel, I’m told they Americans will gie as muckle as twa pounds for a bottle o’ it.”

She (just rescued from a burning building); "Oh, my baby! Won’t somebody save my baby?” Gallant Fireman: "I will.” (Disappearing amid the flames). Gallant Fireman (presently appearing at an upper window): "Ain’t no baby here. Nothin' but this dog.” She: "Oh, that’s my baby!”

Mrs. Rigg-Marole (brightly): "My dear, you look tired out. Have you had a lot of boring visitors to-day?” Her Victim (wearily): “Oh no, you are the first."

He toyed with some loose pebbles, tossing them one by one into the sea. "I’m just a pebble In your life," he

sighed. "Then, why not become a little boulder?” she said.