A Good Conversationalist

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXVIII, Issue 3483, 23 August 1937, Page 7

A Good Conversationalist

THE ART OF CONVERSATION. In his recent book, “The Art of Conversation,’’ Mr. Milton Wright sets forth the positive qualities which go to make up the good conversationalist. “To be sympathetic means to be in tune with the person with whom you are talking,” he says. “You can get along best in your conversation with him if you appreciate his point of view. You need not agree with all his conclusions, but you certainly should try to understand his attitude. You must be friendly. In all of the art of’ conversation there probably is nothing more important. If you are friendly, many faults can be excused; if you are unfriendly, you will need unusual ability to overcome the handicap. “Not only should you know about things and people, but you should be interested in them. You should want to know more about what is going on around you. You should possess a lively curiosity. If you find the world dull, the chances are that your companions will find you dull.” Then, again, with regard to Mr. Milton Wright’s plea that the ideal conversationalist is always in a good humor, he asserts — “This does not mean that he must be humorous, but rather that he must have a frame of mind conducive to good fellowship. He must be ready to laugh at a joke, he must realise that the world is not all bad, he must not take things too seriously. He must be companionable. One of the attributes that will be conducive to a mood which will make him companionable is a sense of proportion. He must not magnify trifles. He must see little things as little and big things as big. Of course, he may deliberately distort things now and then, for the purpose of making them interesting or amusing—which is another way of saying that he must in general have a normal appreciation of the relative importance of things. “The good conversationalist rarely should preach. He seldom should give advice. He should not dwell on moral issues. He should not take the attitude of teaching his listeners. If he does, he may be instructive, he may be eloquent, and he may even be interesting, but the result is not conversation. This tendency to preach probably will be avoided by the man who doesn’t take himself too seriously. You must know your own mind, you must not minimise your own Importance, but it will be best for you if you keep constantly in mind that you are only human. In fact, the less you think about yourself the better. “The man who thinks about himself is likely to talk about himself, and often, when he preaches, it is merely to impress his hearers with an appreciation of his own virtues. Even if you have a wholly unselfish desire to reform your listeners, it Is well to realise that they won't like it. It will do any of us good to laugh at ourselves occasionally.”