A Hustler Hustled.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXVIII, Issue 3482, 16 August 1937, Page 2

A Hustler Hustled.

A man who prided himself upon his bustling ways entered a grocer’s shop kept by a friend of his. After watching the shopkeeper serve several of his customers he observed — "You are not quick enough. Let me serve this boy. I’ll show you how to get a move on.” The shopkeeper knew the boy, and, hiding a smile, he said, “Righto! He 11 want fourpenny worth of treacle. It’s on the counter there.” The hustler seized the jug, and, hurriedly filling the measure, tipped the contents into the boy’s jug. “Where's your money, boy” he said briskly. “In the usual place,” said the boy. “What does he mean?" the shopkeeper was asked. “It’s in the bottom of the jug,” was the reply. Very Progressive. Blair: “Is she Progressive or Conservative?” Clair: “I don’t know. She wears a last year's hat, drives a this year s car, and lives on next year’s income. Her First Milk Bath. A young lady visiting her farmer uncle tried to lend a hand by feeding the calves, and jokingly relates how she didn’t feed the first calf she tried to. “It bunted the bucket, and sent it flying, and me, too, with the bucket on my head, and there I sat with that bucket firmly over my head, and having my first milk bath free.” Both were natives of the Emerald Isle. This perhaps explains the warmth and cordiality of the chance acquaintanceship they struck up while on a railway journey. “And so you say your name is Riley?” asked one. “Are you, I wonder, any relation to my ould friend. Tim Riley, the bookmaker?” "Very distantly,” replied the other. “Oi was mother’s first child. Tim was her twelfth.” The boss had advertised for a typist, and among the applicants was a young lady of undeniable beauty and graceful figure. . “And where were you emfcteyed last?” Inquired the employer. “In a doll factory,” was the reply. “And what were your duties?” “Making eyes." “Well,” said the boss, “you’re engaged, but don’t demonstrate your abilities when my wife is around!”