Jam and Jar

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXI, Issue 3167, 15 June 1931, Page 7

Jam and Jar

AN INTERESTING STORY WITH A DRAMATIC ENDING.

Gerry Cannan got out of the crowded bus and for a minute concentrated on deep breathing. London had been hot and airless, so had the bus, but here, on the banks of the Thames at six in the evening, be told himself, was all that man could want —a coolly gentle breeze, a river to play with and, oyer all, peace. He went in througb the open door of his river-side bungalow and found Denison. "Dinner about half-past seven," he said. "I'm going for a swim. Any letters?"

"No letters, sir," said his man. "The young lady brought the jam." "Jam?" said Gerry. "I hadn't ordered any." "No, sir?" said Denison. "The young ladyjjoped you'd keep it safe." "I dozHHjfcak you began at the beginning, did you, Denison?" said Gerry patiently.« "When did which young lady bring What from where, and how?"

"Yes, sir," said the man, "about four o'clock. A pot of jam." "Name of young lady?" demanded Gerry.

"Please, sir, she didn't say. She seemed to think you'd understand." "She flattered me," said Gerry. "Do we know this feminine dispenser of sweetness?"

"No, sir," said the man, "but you'll maybe remember her. The day before yesterday when you were on the lawn she went by in a skiff." "Owl!" said Gerry. "Scores of damsels go by every hour in skiffs." "Yes, sir," admitted Denison, "but you nearly fell over the lawn mower.'' "What, that one?" said the young man eagerly, "I say, not really, Denison? The one in a primrose jumper?" Denison cast his eyes down.' "She was in a green bathing dress with white zig-zags, sir. But it was the same young lady, sir." "You haven't got a temperature or anything, have you?" demanded Gerry.

"No, sir." The man went to the sideboard and drew out a two pound pot of jam. "There it is, sir. About four o'clock the young lady came up from the landing stage and knocked at the door. 'Mr. Cannan?" she asks. 'The guvernor,' I says, 'is out.' 'Please tell him to keep this safe,' says she. "It's very important. I'll call again," and with that she give me the pot and jumps into the river." "Great snakes!" said Gerry, "what did you do?" "Put it in the sideboard, sir." "But the young lady?" urged Gerry. "Swims like a walrus, sir," said the man. "Walrus!" snorted Gerry. "Denison, you're a goat** "Certainly, sir," said Denison, "I . .. Excuse me, I hear the bell." For ten seconds Gerry sat by the window nursing the Jam jar. then hurriedly, he leaned out and deposited it beneath the foliage of a clump of hollyhocks, turning back into the room as Denison announced a visitor. Gerry did not want the lady of the primrose jumper to find him nursing h pot of jam! The intruder was no lady, but a man with a green and yellow tie, a purple face and the air of a person who would know something good for the three-thirty. "Name of Robinson," said he confidentially. "I've called for the parcel." "Parcel," repeated Gerry. "Quite, Mr. Robinson." "The young lady brought it," said Mr. Robinson uneasily. His roving eye found no parcel to rest on. "When?" asked Gerry. "She swam over with it," asserted Mr. Robinson, "I saw her." "I see," said Gerry, thoughtfully. "What young lady?" "It was left by mistake," said Mr. Robinson avoiding the question, "she ought to have brought it to me." "The box of cigars for Mr. Wilkinson?" asked Gerry brightly. "That's it," agreed his visitor, "I live with Wilkinson. If you'll let me have it I'll be getting back." "Sorry," said Gerry, getting to his feet, "it hasn't turned up yet." "Not turned up," echoed Mr. Robinson. "You said . .." "No," Gerry told him, "no one has brought any cigars here, and I don't know anyone named Wilkinson about here. Queer, isn't it?" Mr. Robinson took on a deeper shade of purple. "Ho," said he. "Sorry," said Gerry pleasantly, "And now I'm busy." Wk "Denison," he asked as soon as their had gone, "did the young lady say when she was coming back for the Jam?" "No. sir." "Seems queer," said Gerry, frowning at his toes, "Friend Robinson doesn't know what she brought, but is desperately anxious to get hold of It. When is a Jar not a jar, Denison?" "When it's a door, sir," said Denison glibly. "Exactly," said Gerry. "Now for my swim. If anyone else calls tell them the parcels office Is closed." He was just on the point of taking a plunge off his landing stage when he heard a cry and looked up to see trouble in mid-stream. Beside an overturned boat, arms threshed the Thames with frenzy. "Denison," called 'Gerry, "there's a silly ass in the river, jump In the skiff * and help me fish him out." Before the man had time to get aboard Gerry, breaking all speed records, had reached the casualty. "You're all right," he told his salvage, 'Tve got you." "Glsb, gash, gush, gosh!" said the victim, epitomising a movie melodrama and clearing the water from his mouth at the same time.

"Btay still," commanded Gerry "don't wriggle or I'll bash your sill> face." )

Denison, turning up with the skiff. completed the rescue. Together they hauled the man aboard.

"A very neat Job of work, sir," said Denison with pride. "Oh, save the boat!" wailed tin salvage, "I paid ten shillings on it.' "These boatmen know a mug whet* they Bee one," said Gerry kindly, bui went back in the skiff to bring in tht wreck while Denison wrung out tin stranger's garments on the lawn. Tht man refused hospitable offers of her coffee and the drying of his clothes protesting that he was all right an< must return the boat as quickly a:possible as his hour was up. They saw him off, up stream and re turned to the bungalow, Gerry to loom and Denison to the kitchen, t< serve the meal. In two seconds the> met excltealy in the hall. "Somebody's been in my room, shouted Gerry. "Somebody's been in my kitchen, cried Denison. "And turned every drawer of thing' en to the floor," added Gerry. "An' left my cupboards upside down,"- sai( Denison, making for the dining-room "And they've ransacked the whol< place by the look of this." "Blast!" said Gerry. "Then tha idiot in the river . . . ."

"Waß ii red herring to throw dus* in our eyes," continued Denison The silver seems all here, sir. Any thing missing in your room?" "Can't say," said his master; "ii seems pretty full of clothes." "And the chicken's a cinder," la mented the man.

"Can't be helped," returned Gerry "I'll feed off the tin opener. We'vt got some sardines and a tongue and what not."

"I suppose, sir," said Deniaon, "tha' pot of jam isn't mixed up with all this hanky-panky?" "Whatever made you think of that?' cried Gerry, making for the sitting room window. The jar was still shel tering under the hollyhocks. He tool i* in and deposited a pot of marmaladt in its place. He was very thoughtful as he dressed and applied bunsel. to his evening meal. He had been thrilled at the visit to his bungalow ot the girl in the primrose jumper. Three times he had seen her pass in tht last few days. Once he was sure sh< bad looked at him, just a fleeting glance from velvety brown eyes tha? must be glancing at all and sundrj all the time, yet it seemed to Gerry that that connecting glance was a link, a bridge upon* which their twr spirits met and touched —a most mar vellous experience in the light o which all his previous life seemed t< have faded to a uniform drab.

And she had come to him for help He was sure of that. But why?

"Bungalow, ahoy!" tame a hail fron the river.

Gerry went out and glimpsed tht loom of a boat on the twilit water. "Is Mr. Cannan in?" asked a girl's voice.

"Cannan speaking," he assured ,her "anything to do with jam?" For answer her boat moved up t< his mooring. "I want to speak U you," she said very quietly. Gerry made the boat fast and heir out a hand. "Come and tell meal about it on the lawn," he said and in dicated two chairs.

"Thanks," said she; "is it safe?" "The jam?" asked Gerry, "absolute ly."

"Topping, she said. "You see, i don't know anyone round here, but 1 somehow felt sure you would stan'i by." "Count on me," said Gerry, "every time."

"Perhaps you know Bill the Ban dit," she hazarded. "He must liv«near."

"I haven't the honor," laughed Gerry. "Is he a jam hound?" "I want to tell all about everything,' she said. "I am Joyce Maynard." "A friend of Bill's?" queried Gerry "Hardly," she explained. "I nevei saw him till this afternoon, but he itmixed up with the jam." "Sounds sticky," said Gerry, laugh ing. "Is he a schoolboy?"

"Let me expound," said the girl "My brother and I have a camp a mile upstream. "Your brother!" exclaimed Gerry with profound relief. "I saw a great hulking Adonis cluttering up the place when I passed. Your brother. Stou fellow! Please go on." "He's away to-day," continued Misf Maynard, "and I took the Canada up beyond the lock. Coming down, a long, thin lad in a lounge suit man aged to shoot his skiff into the loci just as the lock gates were closinr and hooked on to the chains besid< me. A man in a punt told him Ik ought to be in a lunatic asylum, anr' anathematised him for taking sucl a risk. The youth grinned at me an' said. 'I hope I didn t scare you, too.' i told him 'No,* and he said,,'l've beer 1 looking for you. It's like my cheek t< say it, but I'm sure you're a sport. I'n Billy the Bandit/ While the loch keeper was collecting tolls he ex plained that some bright lads at s bungalow upstream had betted him h< couldn't burgle their shack and ge away with the loot. He had got in al right and taken a pot of jam as evi dence, but one of the lads chanced t< spot him getting away, and the hunt was up. 'They've gone down over th* rollers,' he said, 'and will be waiting for me when I get out of the lock—and there'll be a hundred of the very best gone west! Dare I ask you t. hide the jam in your Canada? I toh him to hide it under my bathing kit That is how I came by the pot of jam!" "I see," said Gerry thoughtfully "and now you want to give it back?" "Not this instant minute," she said J "The Bandit aeksd me to me<3t him

iw Victoria Station to-morrow morning. I wonder if you'd mind keeping - it overnight for me?" I "Not in the least," I assured her.

"You see," she went on, "they are watching our camp. I can't imagine how they got on my track. It's rather thrilling, isn't it?" "Who is watching?" asked Gerry. 'Red-faced man, stockily built?" "Yes," said Joyce. "How do you know?"

"Mr. Robinson," Gerry explained. 'He came here for the parcel a young ady had left by mistake." "And you didn't give it up! How splendid." "Mr. Robinson is a trier," admitted Gerry. "Later he came back with i shipwreck." He outlined the tactics >f Mr. Robinson.and friend. "But we >ire safe so far," he said, raising his voice. "I hid the jam under the hollynocks by the window. No one will hink of looking there." "I'm frightfully sorry I let you in for so much trouble," said the girl. "I never dreamed that I was watched when I brought the jam here." "And very nice, too!" interrupted a voice from the dusk of the river. "Following the kind gentleman's direclons, we found the jam in the hollylocks. Let go, Herbert. Row likt blazes!" "Great snakes!" cried Gerry. "Mr. Robinson!" There was a short pause, broken ■inly by the splash of oars as Mr. Robinson and company made for the opposite bank. "That's put poor Bill in the cart!" said Joyce. "We were talking too oud, Mr. Cannan." "Bill hasn't done too badly," said Jerry. "He's enlisted the services of r.hree strangers for the best part of a •ay. and introduced me to you. for vhlcb I am deeply grateful. Let me *ul] you back to your camp and explain t all to your brother." Though Gerry dreamed of velvety eyes and a laugh like sunlight on rippling water, he was up betimes next morning. He had his own reasons for fearing that the camp might have received another visit from Mr. Robinson, and, though he trusted the power •f-Brother Bob's arms, he yearned to know that Joyce had not been alarmed.

Arrived at the camp, he found Bob leaning over the bank applying water ro a nose that needed it.

"Hello!" hailed Gerry. "What's the trouble?" Bob straightened himself. "I fancy ts name is Robinson," he said. "Nasty >ob of work in a green and yellow tie barged In after Joyce had gone to the farm for milk."

"Still looking for cigars?" asked Gerry. "Didn't seem to know what he wanted, and wouldn't be happy till he s;ot it. Quite snorty. too. I had to nut it to him pretty plainly." "I see," said Gerry, with a glance at the damaged nose. "He seems to 'iave had some forceful opinions, too." Bob laughed. "When Mr. Robinson gave up his project of dissecting our bedding he \vas a ruddier scene than I am."

"Where has he gone?" asked Gerry. "Nearest chemist, I expect," returned Bob. "I say, Joyce persists In going up to Victoria to explain to the Randit how she lost the jam. I don't like the business a little bit. It's fishy —dam fishy." . "Did you see last night's News?" asked Gerry, taking a cutting from his note case. "No," said Bob. "Read that. Of course is may be oure coincidence, but I think it is worth consideration."

"Quite," said Bob. "Here's Joyce *vith the milk. Have a bite with us." "I'm so glad you've come," cried the girl, "I thought perhaps you would back me up with the Bandit —corroborate and so forth."

"Count me in," said Gerry; "but first hear what Bob has to say about Mr. Robinson."

Brother Bob said it with emphasis!

"The man's a glutton," said the girl, "he can't have finished the pot h.p took yesterday. Try my coffee, comrade. The sandwiches are ham, f ongue and egg. Help yourself. Are vou really coming to Victoria with us?"

"Rather," said Gerry. "I'll run you up in my two-seater if Bob doesn't ■?corn the dickey. I think we all ought o be in at the death."

"At any rate," said Joyce, "you can hcth testify that I didn't eat the jam!" "Better than yon know," said Gerry very quietly. "It Is still in my care. The pot that was under the hollyhocks was my best marmalade." "You priceless person," exclaimed the girl, "I did well to choose you as •n ally. Can we go and get it?" When the campers had made all fast the trio rowed back to the bungalow. There Gerry, excusing himself, engaged in a little job of telephoning vhile Denison got the two-seater eady. In effect, he invited a Mrs. Massey Gover to meet him at Victoria -.tation, outside the barrier of Number Two platform, where she would hear of something to her advantage. Then he went down to the landing siage and drew up a bucket of water, which, with his back to the river, he proceeded to pour around the roots of a rose tree, finally carrying the bucket indoor and taking from it a r in containing one glass jar of black "urrant jam! With it he shepherded his company Ui the car. "All aboard," he cried. 'This is the last round with Mr. Robeson. Wo are up on points and his only chance is a knock out." "Oh. he's in splints by now," said Bob airily. "Don't be too sure," said Gerry; I've a notion he's been in a rough house before."

He was right. As they turned from the lane into the London rond a motm-

cyclist fell in behind them. The pilot was the wrecked mariner of the previous evening—and Mr. Robinson rode on the pillion. Gerry blessed his lack that there was too much traffic on the road for Mr. Robinson and friend to try conclusions with his party, but he could not out-distance the motor cycle.

They arrived in Victoria within ten seconds of each other.

"Hurrah!" cried Joyce. "Gerry, you're it. Now I can give the Bandit the jam and he'll get the hundred pounds." "Please note," said Gerry, "that old scout Robinson, with his eye in a s/ing, is thirty yards along the pave ment. We're not out of the wood yet. I've asked Mrs. Massey Gover to witness the transfer." "Who Is Mrs. Massey Gover?" queried the girl. "Is she in the rag, too?" "Come on," he urged. "Close in, Bob, and keep your eye on Robinson.'' A tall, thin youth was standing close tr the barrier as they came up. "Bill the Bandit," cried Joyce and handed him the jam. "Won by a short head. I nearly lost it, but . . ."• Suddenly everyone started to do unusual things. Aware of a rush of steps behind him Bob suddenly whirled round in time to jolt a hefty half arm to the chin of the shipwrecked mariner. Then Mr. Robinson barged in like a hippopotamus, shouting, "I'll teach you to double cross me, you . . ." Gerry knocked up the man's right arm and something went bang. A pane cf glass in the roof smashed just as Bill the Bandit, bolting from Robinson, dropped the jam pot. i At the same time a fat and angry lady surged up in the company of a police inspector and cried, "Seize him, inspector! He's got my diamonds." "Seize who?" asked the inspector. "All of them," gasped the fat lady. She asked too much. About five hundred people were converging on the centre of interest which contained Mr. Robinson lying on the scattered debris of a pot of jam, with Brother Bob sitting on him; Bill the Bandit ic the embrace of a ticket collector; Gerry with one arm round Joyce and the other fending the crowd off; and the fat lady adjuring everyone to arrest everyone else. The inspector took command. In two minutes the chief characters were transferred to the ticket collector's office, with the exception of the shipwrecked mariner—he had got back to his motor-cycle and was never heard of again. "Now," said the inspector, when the entire company stood round the table, with a large railway policeman bottling the doorway, and a dustpan confining glass and Urn was being firmly held by a porter, "where did this jam rome from?" ' "I brought it here." confessed Joyce. "How is it." boomed the inspector, putting two fingers into the dustpan and bringing out a jammy chain, "that this necklace is in it?"

"My diamonds," shrieked Mrs. Massey Gover,' the fat lady. "Do you formally identify them, madam?"

"1 do, I do," panted Mrs. Massey Gover. She looked at Joyce. "Why did you do it?" she asked. "You are a lady, I'm sure. Did you 'phone me this morning?"

"I 'phoned you," said Gerry, "because Miss Maynard had given me the jar to take care of." He turned to the inspector. "I know as much about this as anyone. May I tell you what I know?"

The perplexed policeman assented. Gerry told his story. There was no interruption. After a few minutes of Gerry's explanation Mr. Robinson and the Bandit appeared to be drawn together. They made a concerted action for the removal of the policeman in the doorway. They had no luck, but from that time on the inspector listened with increased respect to Gerry's narrative.

"Thank you, sir," he said as Gerry concluded. "Your friends here can, of course, corroborate your statements. It's as clear a case of theft by collusion followed by an attempt of the younger man to double cross his partner, as I've ever met. No need to detain you further. If we should require your evidence again later we can let you know." Gerry's explanation at length penetrated the mind of Mrs. Massey Gover, late Cynthia Smyler of the Night Club Naiads. She may not be very quick in the* uptake but none shall call her ungrateful. "Young man." she said, "You have shown proof of honesty and intelligence. I have a lot of influence, and if you have stage aspirations I can get you a place in the cast of 'Odds and Ends.' * "Charming of you," smiled Gerry. "As a matter of fact, I wrote that revue myself. Good-bye." Outside Joyce challenged him. "But are you really and truly G. R. Cannan?"

"I am," said Gerry. "Why not?" "Well," said Joyce, "I've been treating you just as if you were any ordinary person. It's terrible!"

"That's rather serious," said Gerry. 'But perhaps we can put it right. I'd h'-te you to treat me as any ordinary person naturally. His eyes were smiling. "I mean," stammered Joyce, "you'ra such a big noise. I've always considered you a genius, and so on. I'd never have dared to land that jam on you if I had known." "Blessed be Bill the Bandit," said Gerry, fervently. "You started by bringing sweetness into my life, Joyce Won't you carry on the good work?" Three months later Denison thoughtfully presented them with a silver jam jar.

If we could return to simpler living, lessen our needs, and work more, we should b*» happier people.