SUCTION STORIES.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXI, Issue 3166, 8 June 1931, Page 7

SUCTION STORIES.

Many readers are old enough to remember the first vacuum cleaners and the interest aroused when it was found that a carpet could be cleared of dust without a broom being used. Since those days, the principle of this invention, namely, that of suction, has been more and more widely employed. Coal is now loaded by suction. The pipe used is made of steel and is 12 inches in diameter, the nozzle is a box three feet long and something more than a foot wide, and the most ingenious part of the invention is an arrange ment to prevent the whole thing getting choked by coal dust. The latest invention in this direction is a marvellous fish trap. In this case, a pipe of great size is lowered from the fishing vessel deep into the sea, the air is exhausted, and the water rushes up, carrying with it the fish. The fish are kept, the water goes back. One more use for this kind of device is in the war against locusts. In Palestine, where there has recently been a plague of these ravenous creatures, gigantic vacuum cleaners fixed on motor vehicles were used and the locusts drawn up by the million. Trainer (to new player after his first match): "Joe, you're marvellous. The way you sped along the touch-line, dodged, tackled your man and knocked that goalkeeper over the line was wonderful. Tell me, how did you attain such perfection?" Player (modestly): . "You see, trainer, I always go with my wife to the annual bargain sales." Assistant: "The lady over there wants to know if this woollen jumper will shrink. What shall I tell her?" Floorwalker: "Does It fit her?" Assistant: "No, it's too large." Floorwalker: "Then certainly tell her it'll shrink." A farmer had gone to law with a neighbor over a piece of land. He suggested to his lawyer that it might be advisable to send a present of some fowls to the judge. "If you did that you'd certainly lose your case," said the lawyer. "The judge is an honest man." The farmer eventually won his case. "And I sent the fowls after all," he said to the lawyer. "What?" was the astonished reply. "Yes, I sent them," continued the farmer, "but, of course, in my opponent's name!" Maid: "You know, ma'am, how you've been trying to get a vase to match that Japanese one in the draw-ing-room?" Mistress: "Yea." Maid: "Well, ma'am, you needn't try aoy more."