PHILOSOPHY OF A WOMAN.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LX, Issue 3111, 12 May 1930, Page 2

PHILOSOPHY OF A WOMAN.

I gave the nipper something yesterday. 'E tied the kettle on the cat's tail —an* I only bought taat kettle last Saturday.

My Liz 'as broken off 'er engagement to young Charlie 'lggins. 'E told 'er 'e 'ad done three years, an' she found out it was five.

I gets in such a muddle with my third's age. When 'e's on a train 'e's thirteen, but when I send 'im round to the Blue Boar 'e's nearly fifteen.

Whatever I may Bay about my old man, 'e's real useful about the 'ouse. I only wish I 'ad a couple more like 'im.

Mrs. Fortesque says she's been In some of the biggest 'ouses in the country. The Government's "otels, I suppose she means."

First Newspaper Boy: "I say, Bill, I'm a penny short in my accounts." Second Newspaper Boy: "Well •what's that got to do with me?" "I'll tell yer. I'm a penny short and you're eating toffee!"

Mistress: "Belinda, did I see you kissing someone in the gardes this morning—the milkman or the postman?"

Maid: "Er —let me see, ma'am. Wu it about half-past seven or was it after eight?"