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Cromwell Argus, Volume XLIII, Issue 2283, 5 February 1912, Page 2

When Professor Qnack visited the Swingingleigh Seminary for Select young ladies, there was a general flittering and fluttering of feminine hearts. Only one girl among the j trembling assembly that lined up beI fore the great man had the courage ! to address him. I "Should I call you professor or . doctor ?” she asked. J The professor, who was not really as terrible as he looked, stopped bej fore her almost gratefully. " Some people," he said, with a playful twinkle which geniuses assume when they stoop from their pedestals " call me an old idiot.” ” Ah, but surely,” responded the young lady, ” they would be people who knew you intimately.”

Professor standing at the fire as his wife enters the room 1 ) : "You see, dear, I am cooking my own breakfast this morning. I was just cooking an egg.” "Yes, I see, John dear ; but the egg won’t cook in your hand. You've put your watch in the saucepan.’j