MISSED HIS CHANCE.

Cromwell Argus, Volume XXXVII, Issue 1984, 16 April 1906, Page 2

MISSED HIS CHANCE.

U Kitber. It was on a Sabbath morn, aad George Margatroyd had just tamed over to sleep agaia. after mailing his sixth resolution to get np. But the ory, fraogafc with anxiety and trepidation, that oame from tbe room below, banished sleep instantly. It was hi a wife's voioe—the dear girl whom ho bad taken horn a parent's—or rather two parents'—care. "Georgal Ooroe, quick I" What could be the matter? "George! Why don't yon oome? Oome! Oome!" In bis frantic baste he had on his trousers hind part before and his shirt waß a wreck, but what of that? Like a flash it oarae to him, the tale of yesterday, told by his little wife, at which he had scoffed. A tale of a dark browed man who oame to read the gas meter and who bad behaved so strangely that Maud suspected him of being a burglar's spy. Tbe man had oome again—even now perhaps—"Georgel If yon don't oome, it'll be too late." What were oollar efeads now that be should searoh for them? With one bound he overturned the rooking obair and smashed the water jug, in another instant he had collided with the open door of the wardrobe, at the third step he tripped over bis braces and oame down on his elbows and cooatenauoa. "Courage, Maud," he cried, "I am ooming." He was only a pale bookkeeper, and unarmed save with nature's weapons, but not for a moment did he falte*. "You're too kte," said Maud with a pretty pout as George dashed into the room with a fire in his eye that tbe blood on his nose could not dim. "What—where is he?" he gasped, looking around with an awful faintness at the heart. "I wanted you to eeo the baby," said she in a disappointed voioe. "Ho had his foot in his month, and you've no idea how pretty the little dear looked." Noft at All fiurprfainfir. "The girls of your—aw—country rather—aw—pusszle me," said the visiting foreigner. "Not at all surprising," replied the native. "We are hardly used to some of them ourselves. But to which girls of our country do you refer—tbe New York girls or tbe Hawaiian girls or the Chicago girls or the Porto Rioan girls or the Boston girls or the Philippine girls or the New Orleans girls or the Cuban girls or tho St. Louis girls or the Indian girls cr the Philadelphia girls or tho Alaskan girls or the" — Bat at this point the visitor escaped. Gastrioian—Dined with Bteiner last evening. Ohymer—You were in luck. You're always sure of Eome delicaoy at Steiner'e. Gastrioian—You're right. Last night we had some of the best cheese I ever put into my mouth. It was just perfect. Why, you had to hold your noso from tho moment tho oheece oame into the room until an hoer after it was all eaten.' His IllneaM. Mr. Quayker—l—atchoo—believe I have caught tho grip. Miss Wabash—Oh, no, that can't be possible! It must have waited for you. I'feat Xronttim Inoident. "Hello, Gene!" called out Alexander, With tho air of familiarity which was commonly affeoted by conquerors of the world in those days. "What are you doing with that lantern?" "I am looking for an honest man," replied Diogenes, correctly conjecturing that he was addressing a stranger in the oity. "Oh, I thought perhaps you were paying off an election bet," exolaimed the monarch, for these continued dieappointments were becoming irksome. Streaic of Generoelty. Mr. Pueer—Johnny, wouldn't you like to know how much you weigh? Johrny Pneer—'Course I would. Mr. pjitcr—Well, I gave you a cent one day last week. Step on that platform and drop the cent in the slot. That's right. You weigh 88 pounds. Now what do you say? Johnny- ~ < . Science of Railroad Ins.

Railway Manager--Do the new green cars run well? Conductor—Yes, sir. Manager—Then w«'ll have the others painted green too. Her Majestj Eneafired. Mrs. Struck]© —Did you see the queen when ye was in England? Mrs. Gas well—No; I called on 'er, but they tole me she was engaged. It never occurred to me till then that it was washday. He FeJt the Change. Guest (at Turkish bath)— Can't you turn on more heat? Attendant —More heatl Good heavens, it's nearly 200 degrees now! Guest (shivering) —I can't help it. I'va just come from Kansas City in a sleeping car. That In Whot .He Meant. "He eaye he loves her for all he's worth," remarked Faugle. "He meana for all she's worth," added Oouma,