Page 7 Advertisements Column 3

Cromwell Argus, Volume XXVII, Issue 1373, 20 August 1895, Page 7

Lonesome But Comfortable. , “Did you enjoy the opera last night, John 7' inquired his wife. “’Not much,” he answered ; “ I was lonesome, and was sorry I was detained at the office so late that I hadn’t time to come for you. This going alone to the theatre isn’t what is’s cracked up to be, my dear,’’ “No, I suppose not,’’ returned the lady thoughtfully. “ Still, you must have been very comfortable,’’ she added, “as the two ticket stubs I found in your rest-pocket gats you the advantage of more than one seat.’’ He Ought Not to Complain. | “Ah me,” he sighed ; “it is a cold world. The rain falls alike on the just and on the unjust l” “Yes, John,” said his wife ; “and that ought to be a source of great consolation te you. You hare no reason to complain.” j A Handsome Compliment. j Miss Ethel : Mr. Featherly paid you a very handsome compliment last night, Clara., Miss Clara : Oh, did he 7 What was itfj Miss Ethel : He spoke of your new black-relret suit, and thought he never saw you look so well. “It is wonderful,” bs ■aid, “ what a difference dress makes with some people I” “ Been doing a good deal of shooting lately ?” we remarked to a friend on the Williamstown boat one day last week. “ Well, yes, pretty fair ; but why do you ask ?” “ Oh, only because you nearly always have a gun when I see you crossing the bay,” we replied. Here our friend put his index finger on the left side of bis nose and said ; “ Don’t split on me, old boy, but I haven’t pulled a trigger this year. You may notice that my clothes look rather seedy—well, I pack along my gun as a sort of an apology for them.” And be winked solemnly. j Brown was abusing Smith violently on the pavement one night. Joues, who was Smith’s fsiend, heard it from an upper window, and yelled to Smith. ” Knock him down 1” The nextday Jones and mst. “ Why didn’t you knock that maL down t’ asked Jones, “ 1 hollered to you to do it.” “ Yes” replied Smith, •* and I would have hollered the same thing had 1 been up where you were." A householder in • Wiltshire village in fit ling up his census schedule, under a column bended •* Where born," described one of his childen as “ horn in the parlor,” and the other “ upstairs." The exodus of Jews from Russia still continues, thousands of families having during the last few weeks left for Brazil. A wellknown member of the community is said to be arranging for the emigration of his coreligionists on an extensive scale to Palestine. The proportion of insane to sane persons in the United States is one in every 262 ; in Scotland it is one in every 574 ; in the agricultural districts of England it is one in every 820 ; la London the proportion i« . onoiniOQ,