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Cromwell Argus, Volume XXVII, Issue 1362, 28 May 1895, Page 3

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Of 800 girls employed in the Savings Bank department of the British post office, at the present rate at which thay get married it will take about 66 years to marry them all off. "My daughter wants to be an actress. Is there no way of curing a girl of that delusion V asked the New York man at the club of a friend who was an actor." "Nothing in the world, unless it is for her to be ruu over by a freight train loaded with railroad iron." •' Mrs Small doesn't smile so sweetly on Hunker as sbe did," said Huggins. u No," replied the favorite boarder, "he had the presumption to offer her a newspaper clipping telling how to cook an old hen." Here are two or three anecdotes of German children : —lt was at a large party. A gentleman had the misfortune to break a glass. Little Lena, who was standing near her mamma, raised herself on tiptoe and whispered, loud euough for all the company to heaar, " And oue of the borrowed oues, too!" Later in the evening, the hostess gave one of her little daughters a nice apple. " Now, give your mamma a kiss, there's a dear," said the child's uncle. " I'am not allowed to when she's painted her face."—Little Paul was sent with a bunch of flowers to the manager's wife on her birthday, and waited in silence after he had been dismissed. Lady : " Well, my young man, what are ycu waiting for now ?" Paul : " Mamma said T. was not to ask for a piece of birthday cake, but wait till I got it." On one of the latest visits to a certain country house in a Scottish county, Archbishop Tait went alone to the post-office to send a telegram to his brother. He wrote it out—"The Archbishop of Canterbury to Sheriff lait," and handed it in. The sceptical old postmaster read it aloud in contemptuous tones "The Archbishop of Canterbury ! " and added, " Wha may ye be that taks this cognomen 1 The Archbishop, taken back, remained silent for a moment. The morning was cold and he had a woollen comforter wrapped round his neck, but on a second view the postmaster thought he looked more respectable than on the first, and added : " May be ye're the gentleman himself?' Tait replied modestly " for want of a better, I am." On which the good old Scot hastened to apologise for his first suspicion of impostor, adding : " I might have seen you were rather consequential about the legs." Then he added words of cheer, which Tait said truly, were vitally Scotch—"l have a sou in London, a lad in a shop and he gaed tac hear ye preach one day, aud was vera weel satisfied.