FACETIAE.

Clutha Leader, Volume XXIV, Issue 1227, 7 January 1898, Page 7

FACETIAE.

If you would be remembsred by a bald-headed bachelor send him a comb, for he will never be able to part with it.

Mr Jinks : c I don't know how you feel about it, sir, but the fact is my wife, your daughter, is a dreadfully hard woman to live with.' f 1 can sympathise with you, sir ; I married her mother.'

Farmer's wife : c I hope you are not afraid of work V Tramp (uneasily) : ' I ain't exactly afraid, mum ; but I always feels fidgety when there's anything like that about.'

Some philosopher writes : ' Put off nothing till to-morrow.' A youthful correspondent suggests that this mean? that to be happy yon should go to bed in your clothes and disrobe in the morn-

i«U

Teacher : What is a synonym 1 Bright Boy : It's a wotd you can use in place of another one when you don't know how to spell the other one.

Gentleman : ' What is your hurry, Pat? Haven't you all the day in which to finish the job V Pat :

• Begorra, O'im trying to finish me job befoor the paint gives out.'

Lady Bountiful : ' Where's your son to-day, Mrs Flannigan 1 I hope he isn't ill ?•' Mrs F. : ' Sure Mike's to be married to-morry, ma'am, an' he's gone to bed to-day, while I washes his trousseau for him.'