HOW TO MANAGE A GROWNUP SON.

Clutha Leader, Volume XX, Issue 1031, 27 April 1894, Page 3

HOW TO MANAGE A GROWNUP SON.

1..1 f you are a wealthy parent, when your son has had a good rudimentary education you should send him up to the University to"acquire a knowledge of billiards. 2. If your son can paint cows so that anyone can tell what they are at a glance, but does not display any objectionable originality of idea, let him make art his profession. He may never be a great artist, but he is nearly sure to become an R.A. 3. If he shows no fear of things that cannot hurt him, and a discreet heroism when there is no danger, you should have no difficulty in getting him a lucrative appointment in the B.S.A. Company's army. 4. If he is fond of fiction, and shows no disposition to give away good advice, you might make a lawyer of him. 5. If you are unable to find him any capital to start with, make him a financial agent. 6. If he has a good imagination, and cannot bear to risk losing his own money, he should be successful as a company promoter. 7. Gambling is illegal ; but if it is his forte, you can easily make a lawabiding citizen, of him by setting him up as a stock-broker. 8. If on a phrenological examination of his head you find the bump of homicide largely developed, it indicates a capacity for the medical profession. A hospital appointment will give him more scope than a private practice, and is not attended with so much danger of unpleasantness. 9. If he has a well regulated memory, and can forget a good deal, but is, in a general way, a young man of unlimited promise, a fine parliamentary career should be open to him. 10. If he is cross-eyed, Bossover's spectacles are the things to put him straight, and if he hasn't got a good appetite give him Filler's, Gastric Tickler (Is 1-^d per boUle). A good appetite is almost the only thing he cannot do without if he wants to succeed in public life. 11. If he distinguishes himself, you will have no difficulty in seeing that he has inherited your own character exactly. He will remind you of what you were yourself when you 'were his age. Don't forget to. mention that to ■people when you have a chance. 12. If he disgraces himself, you won't know whom he takes after, but you will be sure to let folks know that he does not take after you. 13. If he falls in love tell him he is a young fool. Do* not be afraid ; he didn't know you when, you were his age. • ■ 14. Whatever he does, always teach him that honesty is the best policy, .unless he is quite sure of being able to get safely out to Buenos Ayres,