A TALE OF TRYING TIMES.

Clutha Leader, Volume II, Issue 102, 23 June 1876, Page 7

A TALE OF TRYING TIMES.

CHAPTER XI.

We'll speak of tramps : And were great Doctors Gall[and Sf.urzheim there, They'd surely find sufficiency of lumps To theorise upon — come clear your hair, And put those visionaries in the dumps. The Club— A Poem.

Precisely at the hour appointed, Mr Duncanson waited upon Dr Crimp and was received very graciously. The Doctor was now prepared to enter on business. H e immetiiately commenced to examine tlie student on his qualifications to act as Greek and. Latin tutor to Master Theophilus Lofcus Jermingham Crimp. The result appeared to be satisfactory, for- the Doctor was even more complaisant and complimentary and glory of i c'lolarship, and slid, by the than le'ore. He enlarged on the merits easiest transition imaginable, iuto a sounding" eulogisra on the Church of England, as the generous nursing motfier of learning and piety. In her sheltering bosom, he said, no young man of decided talent was allowed to languish for want of encouragement. All her deserving sons were enriched from her opulence, and removed at once from the harassihenls of poverty and excessive duty. Her highest offices were open alike to aspirants of all ranks. High merit was the only essential to promotion throughout all her degrees of dignity. And the effect of such encouragement was just what might be expected. She numbered amongst her clergy the brightest names in learning which this country or the world had produced. The learning of all other Churches was ignorance compared to the profound erudition of her divines. Then the decency, the magnificence of her rites and ceremonies had an elevuting influence on the mind, and gratified ihe reverential feelings proper to man. Even her gradations of office had this effect, for who that felt; impressed with respect for the humble curate could fail to venerate a Bishop or an Archbishop? Plied with these appeals to his ambition, Mr Duncanson felt awkwardly situated, and knew not what to say. At length, when the Doctor made a pause, with ihe evident purpose of seeing what effect his eloquence had produced, ♦Tames remarked, with as much civility as he could muster — " I have no doubt the clergy of the Church of England have mp.ny advantages, and I don't wonder lhat those who have been born and bred within her pale should be greatly attached to her forms and ceremonies, which are certainly very imposing."

" No, not imposing. Mr Duncanson, by your leave, impressive is the word, not imposing 1 ."

" I bow to yom* covrection, Doctor. You bave expressed lry meaning better than I did myself." " Oh, yes, the services of our Church are, indeed, very impressive, and my wonder is that they only affect those who are Episcopalians by birth and education. I should h-ave expected ihem to touch the feeling's of:' all rational creatures, of whatever creed and training-. Just think how Through the loug-drawn aisle and froited v&vH The pealing anthem t> tvells the note of praise. Then how beautiful is the liturgy ! the finest composition extant. And all this, associated with a Church modelled on the primitive plan, a clergy in unbroken succession from the apostles, and doctrines sanctioned by tbe autbo rity of the most venerable fathers and holiest martyrs. lam astonished that dissent should exist in any form."

Mr Duncanson now began to recollect the suspicions of his worthy homespun friend, Stiffrig-gs, and to think that they naig-ht, after all, not be without foundation. His own suspicions were aroused by the tone of propag-an-dism which pervaded the Doctor's observations. He felt it incumbent on him to vindicate his Presbyterian principles in as far as they seemed to be obliquely reflected on in the Doctor's panegyric on Episcopacy. " Without intending any personal offence, Doctor, I must say," remarked the student, " that however highly Episcopalians may value their own Church, the Presbyterian system appears to me, and those who have been instructed as I have been, to be more consistent with Scripture aod reason."

A dark cloud gathered on the Doctor's brow while, this was spoken, and instead of making 1 a direct reply, he turned to a table behind him, and lifting an elegantly bound volume, placed it in the student's hand, saying- — " If* you will be so good as to take this work home with you and read it carefully, I am sure you will see Episcopacy and Presbyterian ism in a new iig-ht. I very much desire you to peruse it with attention, for it contains the marrow of the points in dispute between .our Churches." '

«f I am greatly obliged by your kindness, Doctor," . said ; Mr Duncanson, "but I have read this book long ago." "And are unconvinced by its argu-ments-rHStill a : Presbyterian •?"• "Yes, sir, still a Presbyterian, and likely. to remain so." " Well, Mr Stepnenson— Mr' Duncan, I mean — I am indeed both sorry and surprised. I didn't think it possible that any person of ordinary penetration, not , to say of superior mind, such as you, could possibly resist the evidence and reasoning* of that book. And what is more, sir, I can assure you

that some of the greatest men of your sect — the whole of them for anything that I know — are open to the conviction which you resist. They privately admit that a mild Episcopacy is the most desirable form of Church Government, and would very gladly' see it introduced here, were they not too far committed in the struggle they are making- for the revival of obsolete Presbyterian principles." "Whatever may be the opinion of others, f conscientiously hold that Presbytery is the only system of Church government authorised by Scripture." " Authorised by Scripture ! My dear fellow, it has not the shadow of Scripture warrant. It is but of yesterday — a mere Geneva fabrication- — a device of Galvin, and the gang of presumptuous schismatics of which he was the ringleader. Read more on the subject; think more on it; above all, reflect on the tendency and effect of Presbyterian government, and [ feel assured you will begin to regard it in a very different light. Just consider what it is doing at this moment in Scotland. Rending" society to pieces, undermining the reverence- of the people to all ecclesiastical authority ; ' threatening to beggar the clergy; and putting the very principle of an Established Church in jeopardy. And why? Simply, I tell you, because there is no supreme power in your Church Courts ; no controlling authority to suppress vain jangg!ings and inconvenient discussions. It may be all very well for those whose consistency is at stake to remain obstinately attached to Presby terianism, and to speak .of the parity, purity, and | poverty of their Church in enthusiastic terms, while they know the boasted purity is a piece of fudge, and secretly wish that the party and poverty had j no existence. But for a young man like you, not committed openly to any system, it is folly — 1 say it in all kindness — egregious folly, to overlook the ■superior advantages of a connection with the venerable Catholic Episcopalian Church."

" No further inquiry or any consideration," replied the student, " can ever weaken my attachment to Presbyterian parity in government, or shake my belief in the purity of Presbyterian doctrine. As to the poverty of our Church, it is opulence compared with the temporalities enjoyed by the early preachers of Christianity ; and I could very well content myself with such a bare compe tency . as falls to the lot of a parish minister. And since you have condescended . to express to me so plainly your opinion of Presbyterian parity, allow me to tell you what I think of Episcopal rule — I look on it simply as a usurpation on Christian freedom, and never will bow my neck to it while I live."

Mr Duncanson spoke this with some degree of warmth, regardless of how it might please the Doctor; for he felt nettled at many of his remarks, and withal indignant at his own want of principle which was implied in the attempt to sway his mind by mercenary considerations. And it is well ihat he cared not how his freedom was taken, for it was not taken in good part. The Doctor hemmed and coughed to conceal his displeasure, and with a severe countenance and constrained manner, said — " Well, well, young man, you are wilful and opiniative, but it can't be helped. I have spoken only for your .own good. I have no personal interest in setting you right, and I don't feel the least offended at your obstinacy, nor even at your injustice to the venerable Church to which I belong, for I know you have been mistaught. As to the other matter — the tutorship — though I don't object to you on account of your creed, and have reason to be very well saitsfied with your attainments as a scholar, vet we differ so widely in our views, that really, on the whole, I think we can hardly come to any comfortable arrangement. I shall, therefore, not require you to give Theophilus any lessons, and hope you will be at do loss to find suitable employment otherwise."

Mr Duncanson took bis leave without further altercation, feeling* disappointed at the issue of this interview, and noc a little depressed in spirits, but with a tranquil and approving* conscience. When he communicated the result to Robin Afleck, which he did at the next frugal meal they partook ; of together, Robin ruminated for a. few minutes in a very abstracted mood, and then plied his spoon awhile with diligence, without speaking 1 a word. At length he said, "So the auld curmudgeon disna mean to gi'e ye the teachin* o' his son after a."

" No j he changed his mind on that subject when he found I was not disposed to change my religion. He drew back because I would not be driven from my principles." " He's been intendin* to mak' an Episcopaulian o' ye then V* . • " It appears so."

"Stiffiiggs has been richt in the main, and maybe ye did well to slaun yer grund, seeing ye're a kind o' half minister already. But do you think Dr Crimp wad grab at thelike o' me ?-'

" O,jl,don : fc know but he might. The English clergy of the higher orders are generally keen sportsmen, and a horsedoctor ! might be very serviceable' among them j you may. try him." "Dog on't ! I dinna mean in the veterininary way, man. Do you no think he wad tak' me as a kind o 'prentice to the Bishop trade f*

" "What ! would you become an Episcopalian ?"

" Ou, I don't know but I micht, if I had good encouragement." " Then your Presbyterian principles sit very loose on you, it seems ?" "Presbyterian principles ! I ha'e naething o* tli9 kind. The fack is, I could never see weel the meaning o' whtit ye ca' principle.*. To be sure I am a Presbyterian in a sense, but it's maybe jist because I ken nae better. I see ye're dead set in. stickin' by the auld Scotch set o' preacbin', ancl like eneuch ye're richfc. Ye're richt to stick till't at ony rate noo ; since ye've made a kind o' beginnin' iv that way. Keep up your threep like a game cock. But the case is a' the gither different wi' me. I canna say I prefer ac Kirk by anitber, except by chance like, and maybe, for ought I ken, the richest tme may be the best in every way, if a body could just see't. Siffriggs, nae doot, ! splores avva' aboot the Kirk o' Scotland as if there ne'er had been such a Kirk | in the worl', and he abuses the English Kirk wi' as mony ill names as he can stick on ane anither. But then he's a headstrong fule when he tak's a notion; and gangs clean owre the score on baith sides. . Everything wi' him is jist the vera warst or the veva b6st, so I dinna heedmuckle what he says." : '/ But have you r-eally serious thoughts of trying tbe clerical profession in connection with any Church ?" " Serious thochts I no. It's jist . a kind o' notion that's come into my mind since ye tell't me o' fche great prospects Dr Crimp held oot to ye." " But you have mistaken the matter altogether, if you think he is here bsating up for raw recruits. The Church of England is swarming already with a far greater number of clergy than can find the means of living with any degree of comfort. Many of her ; curates don't get above forty or fifty pp,uhds aryear, and many of her licentiates cannot obtain even such miserable, curacies. So her dignitaries have no inducement to beat up for recruits, nor is ths°e any temptation, in a mercenary point of view, for those who have any. other means of earning a livelihood, to enter her service,"

" What for, then, did Br Crimp mak' sic a fair story to wheedle you owre to his am side f"

" Because, if I understand him aright-, he wants deserters from the Church of Scotland for the purpose of weakening 1 her. The ruin of Presbytei'ianism is what he aims at; and, for that end, he may be willing as far as his power goes, lo advance renegades to places that cannot be obtained by men who pve better deserving" of advancement. But 'l must say lam geatly surprised and disappointed to hear you speak of attempting 1 the clericnl profession and avowing* snch low motives. Have you begun to lose taste of veterinary surgery before you have properly entered on the study V "No just exacVly. I have taste enough fort yet. -There's naething iv the shape o' wark I like better than horse-bluiding oi 1 horse-drenching ; but I think whiles I might do better — that is, if I happen to have proper talons. I daresay Jean Broun thinks, and maybe sac do you, that I'm fit for naething but some coorse job like horsedoctring. But I have rather a different notion mysel', and I'm mair than half inclined to shoot at a heigh mark just to let folk see what I can do."

"It's very good to be ambitious, Robert j but a man who estimates his own capabilities at a high rate, is in great danger of being mistaken." "I canna weel be. mista'en if there be ony truth in. what 1 hear folk say about a big head being the sign o' sense. My head's just desperate for size. Yell acknowledge yoursel', Mr Jimes, that I hae the better o' ye there. When I gang to buy a hat, I get na3 pick and wale o' shapes like ither folk. I have just to tak' the biggest I can get, and be tihankfu' if it happen to be big eneuch."

" Yes ; but according to phrenology there is as much in the shape as in the size of heads."

" Nae doot, nae doot. But, for onything I ken, the shape o' my head may be just as lar beyont common as the size o't. I'm sure eneuch it's no just a turnip "

"• I think, Robert, you had better get it examined by some phrenologist," said Mr Duncanson, smiling at the demonstration which his simple friend was giving thai his self-esteem : was excessive, whatever his other endowments iright be.

Robin made no reply, but . secretly resolved to adopt the suggestion, .for-it jumped exactly with his own inclination. He accordingly took an early opportunity of paying a visit privately to a celebrated female phrenologist, who made a profession of giving analytical; delineations of character, and was generally admitted to be pretty correct in her observations. : : ; When

Robin called at her lodgings, he was shown; into a handsomely furnished apartment, where, for some time, he had no company, but that of a few poe.ts, philosophers, and criminals, in stucco. At length ;the .scientific lady entered, accompanied by a young -man who acted as her secretary. to her visitor, and. waiting, for a moment to 'give him an opportunity of stating his business—^of which, however, he did not avail himself — she said — "I suppose, sir, you wish to have a chart of your phrenological, developments."

"Tm no Very shure, mistress, what ye mean by that y but if'.Ws onything aboot the charter, I may tell you just at ance that I'm no a Chartist ava. : I, have brought a gude lump o'- a head here to see if ye can tell me what's in't; sac, if ye plnase^just say awa'.'' The lady advanced pretty near Robin, and taking a close survey of his appear ance, said — " You are rather of a sanguine, or sanguine fibrous temperament, T see ;" and turning to her amanuensis, she directed him to put down sanguine 5, fibrous 4.

" i ken," said Robin, " I have a temper o' my am, .but 1 dinna see hoo I can hae nine o' them — five o' ac kind and four o' anither."

" You mistake mo, ' sir," said the phrenologist. "It is temperament, not temper, that I spoke of/ " Weel, I'll be hang't if I can understand the difference."

i( Your undersianding organs are less fully developed than those of the knowing and observing faculties." " Organs ! I was ne'er sac hy.pon: driac as to think I had onything 1 like an organ 7n my head." " What is meant by an organ in phrenology, is not the musical instrument of that name, but distinct portions of the brain."

il On, I see ; maybe what ye might ca' whussles rather than organs." I " You are remarkably full in the! basilar region." '.

The ashler, region .?— that .should shureiy be something gade.t ; I ken that what is cad ashiler ,wark in building is just the.v,erra best, .Rubble, jwark is what they use for gavles, .back wa's, and back 1 jambs in the best o'hooses, and naething but the front: is ashiler." " You don't seem to comprehend what is meant by the basilar region." " What is the meanin' o't then ?"

" It signifies th« lower portion- of' the brain, and is the seat of the animal propensities," . ' ■ -. ,"■ '■■

" The animal propensities ! ye dinna mean to say there's oriy animals in my head?" •' J

'* Not that, but animal propensities ; feeling's, which animals possess as well as men."

i "Ou aye, I see ye noo. • Weel, T daresay ye're -richt, for I. ken Tha'e "a gude deal o' the cuddy in me, when I'm strailrit against the hair. ; an'mymither used to say I had mair than eneuch o' the sookio' turkey in me fovbye. But •what do ye mak' oot o' them )"'

"Why, sir, I should say that you will be very ardent in your attachment to the fair sex, for you have amativeness large."

" Ye're aff your eggs there, mistress; for except Jean Brown (I mean a lass ye ken naething aboot), I wadna gi'e a smoke o' tobacco for a' the women betwixt this and Jerusalem."

"The organ is large, however Thomas, you may put down seventeen." ." Djv ye mean to, tell me to my face that T rin after seventeen o 1 them T y

" No, no. It is the relative size of the organ that the number denotes."

•' Weel, that's just Greek and Latin to me. But ca' awa'."

" Next you have philoprogenitiveness very large*" '"']".'

"And what's that?"

" The love of children."

*.' JNoo that maun be nonsense, for I ne'er had ony weans o' my am,; so it's unpossible to ken whether I wad like them or no; and as for ither folks' weans I canna bide the sicht 6' them."

" iTour concentrativeness and adhesiveness are small. Thomas, put them down at sixteen."

" Saxteen !, that's a gude pickle, I tbink. But I reckon there's no muckle difference-aboot them. At least. for my part I dinna see what's the use o* sac mony odds and ends in a body's head. But what's next ?" .

" Destructiveness. This is , above the average size."

" Weel, what mak' ye oot o' that ?"

" A strong feeling of resentment, and a disposition to crush opposition. Even something of cruelty will arise from "this, unless it is checked by great benevolence."

" Fegs, I ha'e plenty o'. that; but as for cruelty, except , when I was maybe a thocht owre keen to get tryin' my hand at bluidin' horses, sticldn' swelled kye, or killin' swine. But what mair ?•" " Oombativeness. Very large. You may say 18, Thomas."

" Aye, what's combativeness for?"

"It inspires courag-e, and is the quality that makes men capable of fiffhtino*." .:;■■■

" Weel, I was thinldn' But I jalouse gude fechtin' depends mair on big neives and braid shouthers than on pm'thing aboot the head. To.be sure, if a body was a tup it would be different, i Tups have a desperate power in the head. Ane Dr $nappei'dpdgeon, I ken, could gi'e his affidavy to that."

. "Dr SnapperdudgeonJ, There's a gentleman of that name to. call, here about this time to get- his derelopmeHts examined. You may perhaps see him before you g") away," : , . ; .'■■ "Toica' here! " No, mistress, I ha'e nae time to. wait ony langer. Ye needna mind; abbot the rest o 1 ray head, fo^ I reckon I the sack is like the sample in phronojogy. as .weel as in meal dealing ; and I've heard aboot as much as' l can carry awa* at ance. Just ; say,. ;then ; what I'm in your dett, and I'll be stepr pin^v ' . .:..:.'.-..■..•. "■'^• i "■'■■ '■•'•'■■

" One shilling is the charge. 1 * " Ay, the full charge for spaein* a' the head. But ye ken ye've bai'dly been abime the lugs wi' .me, and ye

maun just charge accordingly. There's a r sixpence in" the meantime, and when I come back to get you to examin the rest o my head, anither sixpence will clear scores betwixt us. But mind, for oriy sake say naething to ,Dr Snapperdudgeon aboot me or- tile tup at VVhinny&ide."

(7*o be dontiniied,)