Reporter’s diary

Press, 26 September 1989, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Advancing years EVERY so often satirical lists do the round of offices, clubs and schools. One that has appeared in Christchurch recently bears quoting from since it is on a subject that affects us all. “How To Know You're Growing Old” suggests it is when: You sink your teeth into a piece of steak and they stay there; your knees buckle and your belt won’t; Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work; your back goes out more often than you do; you look forward to a dull evening; you get winded playing chess; you have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet; the gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals; and so on. Readers are invited to suggest other ways in which you can tell you’re getting older.

Immigrants’ tales wanted YOU also know you’re getting old when people start writing histories of the decades when you were a child. As background to a book, Mr J. A. Jepson is researching the experiences of immigrants from the United Kingdom who sailed to New Zealand on the immigrant ships of the late 50s and early 60s. Mr Jepson would like to hear from anyone who arrived here at that time, either

as an individual or a member of a family. A questionnaire will be forwarded to those who reply and all information will be treated as strictly confidential. If interested, write to J. A. Jepson, Ridge Road, R.D. 7, Feilding. Headline hunting A quick word to “Confused mother-of-six.” No, you can stay and hunt heads here. The headline in Friday’s paper “Hunt heads overseas” refers to the Minister of Broadcasting (noun) — not the action of pursuing wild animals (verb); and heads is going towards (verb) and not the foremost part of body of an animal. Happy shooting. Policy unchanged TELECOM, in honeyed tones, assures its customers they still have 20 days to pay their accounts, in spite of a new message appearing at the foot of each bill saying “Payment now due.” Previous accounts carried a note asking for payment by a specific date, but that has been replaced by a peremptory pay now order. The charge is in line with normal business practice, whereby customers have 20 days, from the date of issue of the invoice to settle their accounts, said Telecom South , communication manager, Ms Sally Tye. If no payment wtis received

within 20 days, customers could expect letters asking for payment and warning that their telephone could be cut off. “It’s not a shift in credit policy, but it is really just a change in message,” said Ms . Tye. Since the message caused such confusion, Telecom will reinstate a final due date for payment on all telephone accounts next month. Little dodges SOME computer programs are so user-friendly that they are almost intimate. One computer game based on stocks and shares even has a panic button for emergencies. If it is being played at work and the boss creeps up behind, the player hits “P” and the game on the screen is replaced by a bogus screen of figures and assorted official-look-ing accountancy-type data. Which is fine if you’re an accountant. Not so hot if you're a journalist. Rubber frigates? QUOTE of the week comes from Mr Trevor De Cleene. In a letter to a correspondent outlining his stand on the frigates issue, Mr De Cleene claimed that he did what he could to change the Government’s mind. He ended: “Men will be boys when it comes to playing with themselves in the bath.” Er, yes; —Jenny Setchell