Reporter’s diary

Press, 31 August 1989, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Make-believe

A sob story to beat all sob stories has been drawn to our attention by a reader. He found a news item in the Wilmington “Sun” newspaper in North Carolina which told, in tearstained prose, the story of three little girls lost in a sewer. The wee pets, Karen, aged 5, Amy, aged 4, and Lisa, aged 3, were found in a sewer (gasp) after they had fallen in while retrieving a doll 48 hours earlier. Magnificent stuff. More! cry the blood hounds thirsting for gory details. Yes, a rescuer found the “trio of tykes” huddled against the wall. “The oldest girl had her

arms around the two younger ones to keep them warm — and they were crying.” Ahhhhh. And, according to the paper, it all happened in Christchurch, New Zealand. Rats, how come we missed this wonderful scoop? Soft option PSSST! A word in your ear about those cricketing Australians, m’lord. A reader has seen their secret weapon in action on the W.A.C.A. ground, in Perth, m’lord. Yes, it seems their fieldsmen practise fielding wearing softball mitts. Come back Gatting — all is forgiven.

Bughouse... THOSE who should know say that it was definitely the Grand (later called the Embassy) that was the cinema in Cathedral Square affectionately known as the bughouse or fleahouse. Its fans equally vehemently swear there is no truth behind the nickname, which may have been bestowed simply because it was the first theatre to be built in the Square. Another theatre sporting a nickname was the Globe in High Street, which was commonly referred to as the Rat Hole of Calcutta.

. .and flea pits THEATRES and cinemas

had their official billings as well as the nicknames. The Regent sparkled as the “Theatre of the Stars” and the Majestic was the “Show Place of Christchurch.” Everybody’s Theatre (later the Tivoli, and later still, the Westend) was “The Distinctive Theatre.” The State, on the corner of Gloucester Street and Colombo Street, was tagged “Where Christchurch meets,” and when the Avon was built in 1935 it basked in the title of “J. C. Wiliamson’s Luxury Playhouse” and later toned it down to “Your Favourite Theatre.”. Best of all the Crystal Palace (later the Carlton and only recently demolished), puffed itself

up to the splendid heights of the “Crystal Palace — the Theatre Magnificent.” It ads up PANIC not. Those obscure advertisements appearing in several newspapers lately have a definite purpose. Why else would anyone want a live tadpole, a snowball, a fresh four-leaf clover, a Chinese abacus, a single 45 record of “Blueberry Hill” by Fats Domino, or a menu off a Concorde aeroplane? Yes, yet another scavenger hunt is on, this time held by Resort Radio, in Queenstown. Ghotis and ghettis TAIHAPE’S “Ghetti” sign could have something to do with fish, suggested a reader. You know, like George Bernard Shaw’s famous example of ghoti representing fish spelt phonetically. (Oh, all right: gh as in enough; o as in women; and ti as in station). Ah yes, but ghetti would be fesh, not fish, wouldn’t it? “That’s the New Zealand accent for you,” shot back the caller. Brave man

SAY hello, folks, to the nice man driving the car with the bumper sticker: “Women are bom to lead — you’re following one.” —Jenny