Reporter’s diary

Press, 3 April 1989, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Clutching at

straws

NATIONAL Party members are not solely preoccupied with in-fighting. An upper-echelon bod rang to say he had just discovered a most wonderful word but was having problems using it in everyday speech. The word was carphology, which, he explained, means “delirious plucking, mainly of bedclothes.” Yes indeed, a tricky one that. At least, in New Zealand political circles. Our advice, sir, would be to look at its Greek origins. Carphology (which incidentally is the same as floccillation), comes from karphos, straw, and logeia, gathering. Closely connected with wool gathering, perhaps?

Pardon?

A fine example of corpo-

rationspeak perplexed a colleague so much that he had to ask what it really meant “... the corporation analysed the human resource requirements ..apparently translates into “the corporation wanted to know how many people were needed Exploding trees BOTANISTS in the Florida Everglades are fighting a losing battle against an exploding tree. The leaves of the melaleuca tree contain an oil, which in a fire, causes the entire crown of the tree to burst into flames, igniting neighbouring melaleucas. This would not be a problem if the trees were not spreading, destroying everything in their path. The “Daily Telegraph” reports that through aerial surveillance, melaleucas are found every day and then poisoned by ground

crews. So far 50,000 trees have perished, but scientists are still worried. “It is really discouraging,” sighs one. “Every day, there is more of them.” Sign language IN Timaru there is a pub with a sign which reads: “Headaches sold and serviced here.”

Who started this? A parting shot for the season from the “Daily Telegraph” which reports a conversation overheard when a mother helped her teen-age daughter choose an Easter card in a small bookshop. The girl complained “Oh no, mum, not a religious one. They’re bad enough at Easter.”

Superiority purrplex?

CAT fanciers who did not

go to the recent Fifth International Cat Show in New York missed some scintillating highlights such as seminars on “What is my cat trying to tell me?” or “Do you undermine Muffin’s sense of being by trying to make her roll over?” and “Does Mittens resent having to attend a pet support group?”

More sayings

STILL more of the Things They Never Said, from Keith Hamilton (2) and anon: “I haven’t got a bean,” (Sir James Wattie); “I couldn’t care less,” (Mother Theresa); “0.K., so whose grubby little brat did this?” (Dr Truby King); “Well, nearly 400 actually, but who’s counting?” (Richard Hadlee).

—Jenny Setchell