Watch this label — it tells tales

Press, 24 September 1988, Page 20

Watch this label — it tells tales

People used to complain that clothes were not adequately labelled so now we have a host of instructions or “care” labels as they are called. Some are very cautious. Garments which wash like rags are often labelled "handwash only.” I remember when denim jeans first became fashionable we used to regularly, on what must have been manufacturers’ instructions, send them to the dry-cleaners. Nowadays if everyone who wears jeans thought they were too delicate to put in the washing machine, dry-cleaners would all be driving BMWs. For a while, I have had a feeling there is something fishy going on. And there is. It is called "low labelling.” Low labelling is a kind of sneaky insurance policy manufacturers use to protect

themselves against consumer complaints. They figure that people will always be one step ahead of the label. If the label says "hand wash,” consumers will put it in the washing machine; or if the label says “dryclean” only they will handwash it — and then blame the manufacturer or retailer if something goes wrong. So manufacturers don’t take any chances and x overprotect themselves by putting “dry-clean only” tags on garments that can be safely hand-washed. While some consumers are wise to this strategy others, grateful to have such precise instructions, send clothes to the drycleaners that they could safely wash at home. When I heard abput low labelling it made sense of much of what I had suspected. But I hadn’t heard about it when, in Surfers

Paradise, I decided to buy everyone in the family a new bathing suit. First, the spouse. Not a finicky dresser, he (as

usual) bought the first one he tried on, fortunately very smart. Next, the teens. This proved very difficult. Al-

though nominally winter, there were millions of bathing suits to choose from but the new season’s sports swimsuits were not yet in the shops. This left high fashion gear, not always ideal for swimming. Using myself as a model, I tried on dozens of cozzies looking for styles that were smart and practical yet giving reasonable coverage. After literally hours, I chose two. But as we were about to pay for them, the spouse read,the labels — “May be transparent when wet!”

So after hours choosing bathing suits that gave adequate coverage to the private parts, you could see through them anyway. I couldn’t be bothered going through the whole exercise again. We abandoned buying bathing suits for the girls. While driving along in the car, I unwrapped the

Rosaleen M c Carroi!

spouse’s new togs and checked the label and hooted ... "Transparency may occur when wet.” He obviously didn’t believe me, but when he read it for himself he blanched to the very gills.

Now to be honest, the new suits didn’t look as though they would become transparent. They were made in a black and white lycra print, and the sensitive front panel was’ doubled. We decided not to panic. We drove to the beach, companionably crowded even in August, and changed into our swim suits. My good man tested the salt water and leapt about in the'surf for a bit before he emerged,' obviously nervous. But he drew himself to his full height and voila! Nothing untoward! We drove away relieved that we had not done our dough until we arrived home and studied the rest of the label. The “May be : transparent when wet” ' bathing suit which actually wasn’t transparent when wet was further labelled — “Dry clean only.”