Reporter’s diary

Press, 29 January 1988, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Salutary... BECAUSE of the hullabaloo about Australia’s bicentennial, it is hard to avoid convicts and convict ships. A Christchurch man for whom the subject looms large is Mr Tom May. He was taken by his grandmother in 1911, to see a convict ship and exhibition at Whitehaven, north-west Britain. Mr May remembers clearly the wax figures and heavy tarred ropes of the ship, ironically called Success. He still has a guide book (price 6 pence) that describes the ship and its gruesome contents. ...lesson FROM 1787 to 1868, 137,161 criminals were transported to Australia on board Success, 20,319 of whom were women, says Mr May’s guide book. Among the exhibits in the ship were the armour and headgear worn by Ned Kelly (displayed as examples of modern lawlessness, although no members of the Kelly gang were ever on board Success), and leg-irons weighing between 3.175 kg and a literally staggering 25.4 kg. Number 88 in the exhibition is simply listed as “The worst convict of all” — but gives no name. Maybe they were keeping their options open. Yarns needed CONSTABLE Dennis Maguire, at the Kaiapoi police station, has the task of writing the history of the North Canterbury police. He wants anecdotes about the police stationed at any of the small stations from the Conway River to Christchurch — such as Parnassus, Waiau and Hurunui. The constabulary, probably in the belief that if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, had its fair share of colourful characters, and already Constable Maguire has found stories about enterprising policemen that would make a judge’s wig stand on end. Anyone who can add to these tales, to be included in a history of the Christchurch Police, should contact Mr Maguire, P.O. Box 26, Kaiapoi, or telephone 7688 Kaiapoi. Publication

date is fast approaching, so Constable Maguire wants the stories to roll in fast. Calamity claims TWO inner-city workers are vying for the honour of having had the Most Annoying Spill During Work Hours. One, an impatient soul, considered her deftly spilled container of 1000 tiny artificial sweeteners worthy of first prize; the other, having accidentally emptied the contents of a

large (repeat, large) jar of office paste into her leather handbag, claimed the gooey contents were far, far worse — and she’s sticking to it. Lap honours THERE is more to being a Santa than a few ho-hos and being above average in the tolerance field: Santas must also have sturdy knees. A glance at the number of knee sittings at the Northlands Mall, Christchurch, from November 24 to Decem-

ber 24, shows that 7090 people plonked themselves on the lap of the hapless red-coated gent. The record day was December 23, with 600 sittings. The youngest knee-sitter was 10 days old, and the oldest was 97. Lack of faith NOTICED in an Armagh Street bookshop: AH reference books such as thesauruses, dictionaries and encyclopaedias have been filed on a shelf clearly marked “FICTION.”