Reporter’s diary

Press, 2 December 1987, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Tourist attraction WHAT’S this? A slur on Christchurch weather? In the November newsletter of Christchurch’s Parkroyal Hotel, an oozing article drips enticement for tourists, pointing out that Christchurch is unique. “... You can leave the Christchurch Parkroyal around lunchtime on any week day (other than when it is raining heavily) ...” reads the blurb. However, it does hand out a bouquet a little later when it describes the speakers and their hecklers in Cathedral Square. “Hyde Park Corner has nothing on this.” Oh, really? Not plane sailing AS if air travel was not fraught with danger already, Soviet citizens in Dushanbe, south of Tashkent, have declared war on the airport. The people have been angered by the noise and danger from low-flying aircraft and frustrated by their failu-

ure to get the local airport closed. They have left a plank with’ long nails on the runway (where lights are frequently smashed) and the control tower has been stoned. In desperation, Aeroflot has approached a local mullah and asked him to reason with the people. Slim chance

A busy, inner city worker has established what she is pleased to call a “nicely-balanced diet.” It consists of half a packet of well-known slimming preparation one day, a chocolate bar the next.

21-moreorless-

gun-salute

THINGS went with more of a whimper than a bang at the official opening of Parliament in Apia, Western Samoa. As the head of State, His Highness Malietoa Tanumafili 11, approached, the traditional 21-gun salute began. But one of the four 25-poun-

ders supplibd by New Zealand in 1961 did not fire and the three others had problems. There were misfires and jammed breaches as the firing party struggled to let loose the 21 volleys. In the confusion the party lost count. Between 22 and 25 shots were finally fired. Pure language INNOCENTS were abroad at a personal grievance hearing in the Labour Court last week. A company official with the Makarewa freezing works said in his evidence that he did not use bad language. Another official said he did not use certain naughty words either. A third worker, who used to prop a mean provincial scrum, said: “That day I wasn’t swearing at all. I have sworn, but I wasn’t that day.” Lighter note THE West Indies cricket captain, Viv Richards, was

paid a glowing tribute in the latest newsletter of the Somerset Wyverns Club. Of the Caribbean hero, one contributor wrote: “It was a privilege to see Viv Richards bat. He was a joy to behold and made everyone seem pale by comparison ...” Dead letter office PEOPLE in Tokyo can still write to relatives and friends who have died, through a new firm called “Heavenly Mail.” The firm will accept delivery of correspondence to dead people at a cost of between $l2O and $6OOO, according to the length of time a forwarding address is needed, and the volume of correspondence. Replies, says the firm, will be delivered free. Up the Yup FROM Australia comes a word to replace the overused term yuppie: Lombard — Lots Of Money But A Real Drongo.

—Jenny Feltham