Random reminder

Press, 10 November 1986, Page 6

Random reminder

BLACK’S TOUGH Coal — the healthy natural source of the smog which protects Spreydon from excessive cosmic rays — is delivered by being tipped out of enormous sacks.

An order was telephoned through. Shall they, asked the office, shall they be able to drive up the driveway? Please do not, replied the householder. Last time, half the double gates and a post got wiped. Dear, dear, said the office. Yes, it was, agreed the householder. The office made a note, Do Not Use Drive.

On the appointed day the lorry halted at the roadside. The driver and the driver’s mate hoisted their heavy burdens. They did not go directly to the coal bin at the top of the driveway. They staggered instead to the wicket-gate, which stuck. They struggled along the side path,

through the bicycles. They stood on tiptoe to open the back gate, putting down a sack to do so. They pushed past the rubbish tins, negotiated the patio and the barbecue, and saw the coal bin on the far side of the ' section. It was the work of minutes only to heave their loads across and fill the bin. To their credit, they left without slamming the lid. Our Spreydon traditionalist, peering from behind the grey lace curtains, did not say a word. Once upon a time, long long ago, when the delivery people had found the address but had not found the coal-bin, she had opened the back door inwards and had found herself and her kitchen knee-deep in the black stuff. They had left the sacks leaning against the door for her until she got home from work. Wisely, they never did come and ask for the empty sacks back.