Reporter’s diary

Press, 28 August 1986, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Money talks

A LONDON solicitor and author who became frustrated at the lack of interest in his latest book has found an unorthodox solution. Every time he withdraws money from the bank he asks for it in fivers, then stamps each note with the message “Lawyers Can Seriously Damage Your Health — a brilliant new book by Michael Joseph, solicitor.” The police pointed out that defacing a banknote is an offence, and told him not to do it again. Mr Joseph figured that since the maximum penalty was only £l, he would probably keep stamping away. Anticlimax “MONEY” was also the centre of an Australian promotion recently. “The Press” travel editor received 16 1 million "dollar” notes with an invitation to attend the opening of The Lord Forrest hotel in Bunbury, Western Australia. The package itself oozed riches and cloying class. Even the fine quality envelope was enclosed with a red seal and the gold lettering dazzled the reader. The hotel had been a $l6 million project, the note said, and special accommodation and travel arrangements would be provided for all . guests attending the gala dinner. The ever-hopeful travel editor was crestfallen when he discovered that the travel arrangements meant only a bus trip between Perth and Bunbury.

Man for the job

ONE OF the detectives investigating the theft of about $362,000 worth of cordless telephones from the I.M.C. phone company in Reading, Berkshire, is Detective Sergeant Rob de Bank, says “The Times.” Calling all teddy bears ADULTS WANTING to justify keeping their beloved battered bruins may have found the perfect excuse. A “Monster Teddy Bear Competition,” organised to help the Save the Children Fund, from September 2 to 6 will include a section for teddy bears belonging to adults. Acquiescent Edward and Edwina Bears may be dropped at the Christchurch Plunket rooms on Monday, September I, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. The entry fee for each bear is 20c, and admission to the display, to be held in the _ Building Centre, Cashel Street, is 50c. Protection ON THE window beneath the large “Community Police” sign on the kiosk in Cathedral Square is this reassurance: “Warning. These premises are protected by Advanced Security Alarms, Ltd.” So, after almost 2000 years, Juvenal gets the answer to his question “But who is * .to guard the guards themselves?” Dog tent? ANYONE WHO has battled to erect a humble pup tent will sympathise with Mr David Ward,

managing director of Continental Caterers. Mr Ward had to work out how to put up a marquee that had six centre poles, 1400 m of canvas, which could harbour nine buses — with room to spare, and which cover 1200 sq m. Happily, he succeeded, and the marquee, erected behind the Christchurch Airport Travelodge, was used by the Bus and Coach Association for the N.Z. Road Passenger Transport Association conference which ends today. Hereditaball HEREDITARY JOBS can range from the sublime (Royalty) to the ridiculous (read on). Fred Davies, who has been retrieving balls booted into the River Severn by the Shrewsbury Town side (second division) for many years, is handing over to his son, Tom. Fred, now well into his 70s, paddles out into the Severn in his homemade coracle to retrieve lost balls. His rate of pay is about $1.50 for every rescued ball — which is a bargain, considering that new ones can cost up to $l7O. Tom will have to improve though. . Last year, while substituting for his father, he fell into the river and had to be rushed to the dressing room to dry off. Stone the crows A CONTRIBUTOR rang to tell us this gem of.legal gobbledegook, which he assured us, did exist: "... hard liquidity in a hardcore overdraft situation •• •” — which he suggested meant simply “stony broke.” —Jenny'Clark