Commuter cupid rarely misses the mark

Press, 19 February 1986, Page 24

Commuter cupid rarely misses the mark

NZPA-AP New York In tbe tough and competitive world of New York City, ■ Milton Fisher is a lawyer, president of a small investment banking firm, author of two books, teacher of a course on creativity, and a man who successfully analyses mergers and acquisitions. He is also an incurable romantic, a Manhattan matchmaker, a commuter train cupid. His arrows are usually true to the mark. Mr Fisher, who simply thinks married is better than single, takes responsibility for 27 marriages, not one of which has ended in divorce. It is not a business, it is a labour of love. Mr Fisher, who commutes to Manhattan from Connecticut, does not ask people upon first meeting what they do for a living. Or, inanely, what zodiac sign they are. Instead, he asks them if they are single. If they are, Mr Fisher will do his darndest to remedy that.

“I work on the premise that every unmarried woman is a sleeping princess waiting for Prince Charming to waken her to life, and that every bachelor is a lonely soul desperately looking for Miss Right,” says Mr Fisher. “I have yet to meet a man looking for Ms Right.” One of the first questions he asks an unmarried acquaintance is whether brains or good looks are most important. "Ninety per cent say both, but that’s a cop-out,”

he replies. Mr Fisher recently arranged a date for a couple who both had been widowed. They were both lovely 70-year-olds. “He complained that everything would be fine if she would just wear a little make-up and maybe dress up a little bit more,” recalls Mr Fisher, who also acts as coach once the introduction is accomplished. “I mentioned this to her and she took great umbrage and that was the end of it.” He also likes to ask prospective clients about their tastes in books and authors. “I even learn a lot from the way they handle the question,” says Mr Fisher, who often takes his “prey” out to lunch to learn more about them.

He weighs other considerations such as age, education, appearance, religion, career, family and so on; but he does not let discrepancies deter him on his appointed rounds. “There are few perfect matches, but imperfections are not necessarily fatal,” he says. “As noted in ‘Fiddler on the Roof,’ the way he sees and the way she looks, it is a perfect match!” Mr Fisher loves singles who will agree to a blind date.

“You have to think of it as a high adventure filled with excitement," he says. “It calls for a certain intrepidness, a certain zest for life.” However, for those who would no more go out on a blind

date than use someone else’s toothbrush .he falls back on other strategies. Once he arranged for a couple to be judges together at a beaux arts ball. They miraculously discovered each other. However, Mr Fisher fooled no-one. He got a New Year’s card from the man with a single word: “Thanks.” Mr Fisher listens patiently to the prospective blind date’s list of specifications. Tall, sexy, cultured, wholesome like my mom and dad, elegant, good-looking, and so on. He then promptly ignores all that and proceeds on his own intuitive way.

One of his books was called “Intuition: How to Use it for Success ’and Happiness.” It was translated into four languages, except for the chapter on sex, which was translated into eight. His other book was how to make big money in the over-the-counter market.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” Mr Fisher says. “It is amazing how an obviously plump woman looks perfect to the right man and how often a 160 cm shrimp looks like a giant when he sits behind the wheel of his Porsche.” However, if Mr Fisher does not like a person’s priorities, he does not take the case.

"If they say ‘rich’ I put them in a reject file,” he says. “Let them work with an Internal Revenue agent.” He also has little

use for chauvinists or anyone with a list of prejudices.

“If I arrange 20 dates for someone and nothing happens, I eventually realise I am dealing with a psychological problem. They are not interested in a relationship.” Mr Fisher recommends matchmaking as a hobby.

“There is the satisfaction and delight in knowing I have done some good. When it works, it’s like winning the lottery, the Kentucky Derby and an Oscar all wrapped up in one.” However, there are some disadvantages. “You are the guest of honour at the wedding frequently and the gift must be commensurate.

“More seriously, I have lost some friends,” he says. “They do not want to admit they needed help in finding a partner, and I am a reminder.”

However, he is not about to quit. Just recently, at Mr Fisher’s favourite event, a wedding, he met a bachelor in his late 30s looking for a woman.

“I was subliminally thinking of who I had for him and I came up with no-one,” he says. “And then, at lunch one day, I came up with the perfect match. It was just a flash.”

They are in his clutches now, and, as Mr Fisher says, they realise that escape is impossible. A competent matchmaker never permits an escape. Poetically, Mr Fisher

himself got caught by a matchmaker who may not have his track record, but she matched the matchmaker. Mr Fisher was happily married for more than 20 years when his wife died. He spent two years as a single man, dated 30 to 40 ■women, but had not met “Miss Right.” A fellow commuter on his suburban Connecticut train platform grabbed him one morning and announced she had just the girl for him. The master matchmaker was less than enthusiastic. However, the fellow commuter was no slouch in the matching business either. She told Mr Fisher the woman for him was a. senior editor at a big New York publishing house and could perhaps look at one of his books for him. Mr Fisher is, again, happily married — just like he wants everyone else to be.