Back for second bite

Press, 29 January 1986, Page 31

Back for second bite

Somewhere in the shingly expanses of the Waimakariri River bed, near the Mount White Bridge, lie a set of false teeth. They are the property of Athol Gardner, of Auckland. And they are the sole reason, says Gardner, that he is going to put himself through the gruelling coast-to-coast endurance race again this year. Like every one of the 360 competitors, the Auckland market gardener was asked on his entry form to give a reason for going in the coast-to-coast

Many proudly listed their achievements, their prowess.

Gardner simply wrote: “Lost my teeth at the Mount White Bridge.” Apparently he was struggling feverishly to get into a wetsuit during last year’s coast-to-coast, before starting the 67kilometre paddle down the Waimakariri, when his teeth sprang out and

plopped into the shallow water.

There was no time to waste floundering about looking for the teeth. He wouldn’t need them in the hectic kayak voyage, and the coast-to-coast is all about one thing — keeping going. Gardner kept going, planning to return later to retrieve his dentures.

Return he did, but the Waimakariri must have spirited them away — one of the odder little Items discarded by those struggling from the Tasman to the Pacific for the sake of it. The list of reasons for enter the 1986 coast-to-coast endurance race should be required reading for all entrants. It might give them a handy insight into the nature of the competition.

For example, it might not pay to get in the way of Len Vidgen, a Christchurch ski wholesaler, who lists himself as “‘Forty-plus, short, bald,

and very bad-tempered.” John Tait, a Christchurch gynaecologist, thought the coast-to-coast might help him to give up smoking.

Neil Mackenzie is one entrant with promise. The 20-year-old Wellington student lists his main past achievement as having taken part in “The Greta Point Tavern Gutbuster,” but does not say what sort of event it was.

Andrew Armstrong, a 21-year-old Christchurch student, said that he was crazy, and really only wanted a coast-to-coast T-shirt, while Ashburton farm consultant Kerry Straight describes himself as an original slob re-born.

Others have run umpteen marathons, but Tom Judkins, a 42-year-old timber foreman from Ashburton, had the last word with his inscription: “Mid-life crises, mediocrity, and modesty leave little room for listing achievements ...”