Sexual fact and fantasy

Press, 11 January 1986, Page 18

Sexual fact and fantasy

The Woman Book of Love and Sex. By Deidre Sanders. Sphere Books, 1985. 256 pp. $7.95 (paperback). (Reviewed by Lorna Buchanan) Deidre Sanders is an English journalist and a member of the British Association for Counselling and the British Society for Research on Sex Education. She , was commissioned by the English “Woman” magazine to devise a survey of the sexual and emotional responses of married women. The result was deemed to be so successful that a second survey was undertaken on the views of unmarried women. This book is an extended discussion of the findings from both surveys. Any self-selecting survey that depends on an, effort by magazine readers to respond is subject to huge reservations before conclusions can be drawn from it. Even so, with that warning, the survey seems to have . produced useful results — not least because 15,000 readers of “Woman” did respond. The surveys provoked replies to questions that had not been asked; they revealed a very wide range of attitudes and responses, from what might be judged boringly normal to alarmingly abnormal. The book does not dwell on its more bizarre findings, but takes ample time to discuss sensibly the findings that are likely to

be part of the experience of most women. ■ . When “Woman” magazine printed the findings, one of the main responses from readers’ letters was a sense of relief that many women found they were not alone in their feelings and attitudes towards sexual matters. By asking questions and giving replies the survey heightened women’s ’ understanding of their sexuality; it ■ emerged that even quite sophisticated ‘ people were often rather ignorant about their sexual selves, their bodies, ; and their partners. t Books made up of other people’s ‘ comments on a range of questions can i be boring and repetitive. This one is not. It makes a nice balance between comment, fact, and statistics. The ; editor has strong views herself, and ' spells them out, on such matters as lesbianism. A variety of sexual ' exercises are scattered through the text, but this is not a “how to” book. Rather, it is an unpretentious survey of every day behaviour and feelings. On ‘ fantasy during intercourse, for instance, it remarks that “wives who rate themselves as good lovers are more likely to use fantasy during intercourse than those who rate themselves as poor lovers.” And the variety of fantasies that get used should be reassuring to any reader who has indulged in a similar device.