Random reminder

Press, 4 December 1985, Page 36

Random reminder

COOKING WITH GAS

In future, he says, he will be cooking with gas. Well, it was the electricity which caused the original problems. Well, perhaps not the electricity. Perhaps he should blame the City Council; they had decided to put the wires underground. Whoever’s fault it was, he won’t forgive them in a long time.. Maybe never. To begin at the beginning: he usually parks his car in front of his house, but when the electric wiring was being put underground, he could not; the frontage was full of little red cones and flags to mark the holes. He parked on the other side of the road. Silly man. He forgot about the tow-away zone for the school buses. Twenty dollar fine, thank you. So he parked round the comer. And his car, not so visible there, was stolen. And the insurance hadn’t been paid. He had meant to do it, really he had. He was very lucky that someone just went for a • joy ride until the petrol ran out, then abandoned the car. Well, he’s no fool. He could see that

something decisive had to be done. He took the (reinsured) car to a garage and had a burglar alarm fitted. If the wheels moved, or the doors were opened, he was. told, the alarm would warn everyone for miles around. He parked the car round the comer, wondering how much longer the red cones and flags would be in place, and spent a happy evening not worrying. The car was insured, and the burglar alarm was installed. What could go wrong? The next day he told his friends at work about the alarm. They were interested. He took them out for a demonstration. “Move the wheels ...” he said, pushing the car forward. Nothing happened. “Or open the door ... ” he went on, doing so. Nothing continued to happen “ ...!” he said, and drove the car straight back to the garage. The mechanic was surprised. Until he opened the bonnet to look at the alarm. Ilien all became clear. “Sir,” he said, “Your burglar alarm has been stolen.”