Random reminder

Press, 24 June 1985, Page 30

Random reminder

PULLING THE PLUG In a remote Canterbury settlement a widower, has his cottage on a road beside a creek. He can watch the world go by — schoolmaster and children, postmaster and dog, farmers and bach owners. Many of them call — the men for a beer, the ladies for help with whitebait nets and such. Aware of his single status, he is careful to observe the proprieties with the opposite sex, to avoid gossip in the small community. His daughters come from town to inspect him, now and then. One of the whitebait persons has a husband, troubled by ill-health. She had years of concern, coping with his breathlessness, before a heart valve replacement operation rendered him fit again. There was just one snag. The doctors gave him anticoagulants to prevent his blood from clotting — fine if he could avoid puncturing his skin, awkward if he couldn’t. He continued to ride a motorbike, adding to her stress. Then he became accident prone each time they visited their lonely bach near the creek. A bee sting was followed by an allergy he’d never had before. Next time, he fell off a ladder, bringing a

length of guttering with him. It gashed his shin, producing gallons of gore and a race to Christchurch Hospital.

In three weeks he was healed, and back at the bach acquiring a foreign body in his eye. Limited first aid equipment sent his wife scurrying to her various acquaintances (including our hero, the widower) for optical impedimenta. Bathings and ointments dispatched the body to other foreign places, and the dutiful wife returned the borrowed gear as she left for home with her subdued patient. Her whitebaiting friend was off on a town trip, so she left a note in his shed.

The widower’s married daughter accompanied him back, and discovered the communication. It said, “Thank you for the bath. See you in a fortnight.” It was signed with an unmistakably feminine name — none of these unisex Georgies or Tommys.

Her father had to find the eye bath, which had rolled into a dark corner, before his impeccable reputation could be restored.