Reporter’s diary

Press, 2 April 1985, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

“A little gem ...” OFFERS SHOULD start flowing in soon for that desirable piece of real estate, the Christchurch Botanic Gardens. Yesterday, April 1, the sun rose over the Arts Centre to reveal a sign hung on the wrought iron fence of the Gardens, halfway between the curator’s house and the museum. It said: “FOR SALE - Thirty hectares prime land, established trees, with stream boundary. Experienced staff of 40 included. For details, contact Christchurch City Council.” One of the experienced staff of 40 reports that a busload of tourists stopped opposite the sign yesterday morning and admired the lot. It is an attractive-looking proposition at present, with the yellow fluttering down on lush green turf, and the flower beds still clinging to their colour in the chill autumn mornings, not to mention a couple of statues in good condition. With exchange rates as they are, it might be just the spot for a tired American businessman to set up a little home away from home. He could always take the museum down block by block and ship it home to offset costs. At the time of writing, however, the City Council had not received any firm offer, nor did it expect any before the end of April Fools’ Day.

Belt up ON CLIFTON HILL dwells a spaniel-cross dog that should be the star of the Ministry of Transport’s next seat belt campaign. Its owner was driving up the hill the other day with the dog sitting in the front passenger’s seat. Another car came round a downhill bend too fast. They had to brake fairly hard, whereupon the dog lurched forward and butted the dashboard fairly violently. To avoid a recurrence, the owner reached across and put a seat belt round the dazed passenger. Further up the hill they had to brake sharply again, but this time the dog was safely restrained by the belt. When they got back in the car the next day, the dog nudged the driver and looked pointedly at the passengers seat belt. The belt was secured and off they went. Sometimes animals learn a lot faster than humans. Route 13

QUITE RIGHTLY, there were howls of protest when we suggested in yesterday’s “Diary” that a ,r Route 13,” absent from the latest map of Christchurch bus routes, might never have existed. As many older readers will know, there was a Route 13. It ran from Cathedral Square to Opawa, and survived the demise of the trams, lasting well into the

era of the big red buses. No. 13 was dropped from the route map not for superstitious reasons but because it was absorbed by the Lyttelton run, Route 28. The Christchurch Transport Board is keeping Route 13 up its sleeve, as it were, in case it ever needs the number for a new bus route. Ups and downs KEN BIMBLER had not hit a golf ball for four years before playing in the Lancaster Park Cricket Club’s annual tournament at Weedons. He staggered himself by whacking a five-iron tee shot into the hole at the par-three third, but the next hole brought him rapidly back to earth. He carded a 10, including a penalty stroke for hitting someone else’s ball into a ditch. Since he was not insured against holing in one, it cost him about $lOO to shout for the field at the nineteenth. "It was worth it,” he said, with a satisfied grin. No monsters GLENN TALLA, the Scotch whisky exporting company, is trying to recruit a number of young women for a six-month promotional tour of Japan. One proviso is that all the candidates must be less than sft 3in tall, apparently because a similar promotion in Japan, using taller lassies, frightened off potential customers.

Runaways MRS M. BUCKLEY, of Church Street, Rangiora, was surprised to find in her back garden the other day a sign between two pumpkin runners that had come.

through the fence. It said: “These pumpkins actually belong to the joker next door but seeing they have crept through the fence, I declare them yours. I have got plenty on my side. Please talk to them and look after them. I will water them on my side. Happy eating. God Bless. Geo. H.C.” Picnic trips THE WEKA PASS Railway Society will run Easter picnic trains from the McKenzie’s Road depot at Waipara, in North Canterbury, at 11.30 a.m. on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. The train will stop along the way so that passengers may disembark and have a picnic lunch. Photography excursion trains will leave the depot at 2 p.m. on all three days. Unnoticed “THE TIMES” diarist does not give much for the town of Burnley’s chances, come the holocaust. Two nuclear alert alarms went off accidentally at the Burnley Police Station recently. Nothing happened. The chief executive of the council, who is also the emergency controller, recently had double glazing installed in his office and heard nothing at all.

—Peter Comer.