Random reminder

Press, 15 August 1984, Page 51

Random reminder

UNARMED COMBAT

A senior citizen received not only the important message in his mailbox but also an official letter enquiring about his firearm. His two-year-old grandson, who revelled in shooting, cut down everything from the cat to unsuspecting passersby with coathangers and clothes pegs. Grandpa, however, did not share this passion. He preferred to experience any violence quietly from the pages of a good whodunnit So, since he had no unlicensed weapon lurking in the garage among the things which might one day come in useful or buried in the depths of his wardrobe under the memorabilia, he caught a big red bus into town and hastened to put the record right with the powers-that-be. No, he had never owned a gun, he assured the Officer at the Police Department, but he had had the loan of one for about four or five years. “And what happened to it?” the Officer queried.

“Oh, I gave it back,” came the reply. “To the Army when I was discharged. In 1945, you know.” This, however, was not considered a satisfactory explanation for the presence of the letter. The veteran looked thoughtful “A relation of mine had a gun. We had the same initials, but in the reverse order. You might be confusing me with him. It’s happened before.” The Officer brightened, patted some forms of the fill-out-in-triplicate-and-destroy-the-original variety and picked up his pen. "Ah! That’s possible, I suppose. How can we get in touch with him then?” The senior citizen, grandfather and connoisseur of detective and mystery yarns considered the question carefully before replying. “I wouldn’t really like to say. You see we buried him about five years ago.” And there the letter was laid to rest