Politics of rubbish tins

Press, 4 March 1983, Page 17

Politics of rubbish tins

By

MIKE ROYKO,

of the Chicago ‘Sun-Times’

Josephine Hayes has raised an interesting question of political etiquette. It concerns two garbage cans.

Mrs Hayes became the owner of the garbage cans last October. That was when the Democratic precinct captain came to her home. “He asked me if I would vote for Adlai Stevenson, and if I would, he said he would give me two brand new garbage cans. “Well; I had intended to vote for Stevenson anyway, so I said, sure, I will be happy to vote for him. “So he delivered the two garbage cans and I’ve had them ever.since.”

. The garbage cans proudly display the names of Frank A. Damato, the Democratic committee man of' the ward, and Joe McDonald, the precinct captain. Chicago politicians believe that having their names on garbage cans enhances their image as statesmen.

In the last couple of months, the garbage cans have stood behind Mrs Hayes’ apartment building. But a few days ago, McDonald the precinct captain showed up at Mrs Hayes’ door. He appeared to be agitated. Mrs Hayes said the following conversation took place. “I want my garbage cans back,” said McDonald the precinct captain in an angry tone of voice. “But why?” said Mrs Hayes, "You gave them to me.” “I know I gave them to you. But now I want them back. You don't deserve them.” . “What have I done?" asked Mrs Hayes. “Look at that sign in your window. That’s what you’ve done.” McDonald was referring to a large sign in the window that showed a smiljng picture of State’s Attorney Richard M. Daley. The sign said: “Richard Daley for Mayor. It’s Time for Leadership.” “So?" said Mrs Hayes. “I’m for Daley and I have his sign in his window. So what?”

“I’m not for. Daley,” said McDonald. “I’m working for (Mayor Jane) Byrne and I want votes for Byrne, not Daley. So you don’t deserve the garbage cans.” “Wait a minute,” Mrs Hayes said. “You gave me those garbage cans because you said you wanted me to vote for Stevenson. And I voted for Stevenson. You didn’t say anything about Byrne and Daley then.” “That was then. This is now. And you don’t deserve those garbage cans, so give them back.” “But when you gave me the cans, you sent me a letter saying that they were a gift from you and Damato the committeeman because you were waging a war on filth and rats.”

"That’s right, we are.” “You mean that only Byrne sup-

porters will be helped in the war against filth and rats.”

‘Look, I might let you keep them if you take down the Daley sign and promise me a vote for Damato for aiderman.” “I won’t take down the sign.” “Then I want my garbage cans “All right,” Mrs Hayes said, “if you are going to be an Indian giver, then you can have them.” “I’ll pick them up this week-end,” McDonald said.

Then Mrs Hayes asked me for my opinion on what she should do about the garbage cans. I told her it was unfortunate that she had received garbage cans rather than other traditional gifts, such as a chicken, a turkey, a bottle of muscatel or a few dollars. If she had, she could have told them, “I ate it” or “I drank it” or “I spent it,” and he would be out of luck. In a way, I can sympathise with the precinct captain. On election

night he is going to have to march into ward headquarters with the other precinct captains and report to Damato. All ovhr the city, precinct captains will be reporting to their ward bosses.

It can be a traumatic experience for captains who don’t carry their precincts for the organisation. “You failed me, Louie.” “But, but ... ” “You ain’t getting that promotion out of the sewer department, Louie.”

But politics is the art of compromise. So that is what I suggest in this case.

Since Mrs Hayes did vote for Stevenson, she should get to keep one of the garbage cans.

But since she isn’t voting for Byrne, the precinct captain should get to take one of the garbage cans back in retaliation. Remember, the cans are a bribe, and Mrs Hayes did keep her word. Chicago tradition requires that when you give somebody a bribe and they keep their promise, they keep the bribe. If that hallowed Chicago code of honour is ever allowed to slide, this city is doomed.