World record for sheer puerility

Press, 18 February 1983, Page 15

World record for sheer puerility

r Review!

Ken Strongman

One would think it impossible for a television programme to capture more of the most unloveable aspects of the American way of life than "That’s Incredible.” However, it was done this week, in a programme which should have been called -That’s Insufferable” but

which was in fact the ■Second International Guinness Book Of World Records Show." It was hosted by David Frost who one remembers as a man of talent and intelligence. both of which he kept well hidden on this occasion. He was assisted by the obligator- loud-voiced, largebusted blonde announcerette. the sort who is breathily encouraging to any self-lov-ing buffoons who are desperate to describe every detail of their personal feelings. , The world records were in gripping matters as vio-lin-playing cycling backwards ("I play the violin ■jince 12 years now"); hanging

from a trapeze which was itself suspended from a cable car in the Venezuelan Andes: dog-jumping: and hand-dip-ping into a tankful of piranhas. The nadir was reached by a man who wrestled in the mud with an anaconda. Watching this degrading and revolting spectacle. the safari-suited compere said: “Oh, oh, oh . . . anacondas fight real dirty . . . they can swallow jag-wahs" How can those who control television justify buying this puerile, sensationalistic rubbish? Perhaps it is on the grounds of preparing us for those fill-in items on the late news in the dim reaches of

winter. The cat-swinging competition from Arkansas and the family of underwater whistlers from Columbia — you know the sort of thing. Other than this, it has been a week of endings as the programmers show the brilliance of their timing by felling the old for the new in one axe stroke. As well as some repeats repeating their finishes yet again, some reasonable first timers also reached their finale. Lord Hill-Norton saved destroyers for the last of "Sea Power." His amazing voice has cut slices from the ether for seven weeks, laying bare naval history with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. He has come to look more and more like Popeye. the mass of gold braid on his cuffs having so much more physical presence than the rest of him. Thinking of voices. “Pot Black ’B2" has finished in a colourful clatter of colliding balls. It is brilliant television. even the voice of the commentator coming through a velvet glove as the players sit in a controlled seeth watching each other make enormous breaks. “Off the Ground" has landed and done so very well. And lan Johnstone aided by his cardboard cutouts has guided us out of Viet Nam again. It was a brave attempt, but it must be said that it was laboured and boring in patches. It makes one very optimistic to see so many “finals," even of programmes such as “Captains and Kings” of which one has had the good fortune to see no previous episodes. “Private Schulz" though was even better second time round, and “The Two Ronnies" nearly as good. Next week will be a great relief. Even if the new programmes are poor they will at least provide something fresh to rail against.Finally, just one last mention of the cricket and then no more, promise. Could one of the car manufacturers not sponsor a batsman’s-box-ad-justment-of-the-series competition? Close attention to this important point of personal comfort showed a startling variety of styles and even a hint of national differences in technique. The results could perhaps provide way for our lads to salvage some pride.