Reporter’s diary

Press, 5 December 1981, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Topsy turvy

WAS THIS part of a cunning but abortive National Party plot to so confuse the voters that it lost the election? The streamer towed behind the aircraft advocated that Nelson city voters should plump for the National candidate,

Mr Gaire Thompson. But onlookers at the Nelson Show, at the Richmond Showgrounds, had a bit of trouble reading the topsy turvy message. The only person who could read it without serious neck problems was Leonie, performing upside down on the high pole.

Cordon bleu?

ONE CHRISTCHURCH couple dined at their friends’ place on election night and were intrigued by the “menu" offered. Bellamy's Bar and Restaurant, dress informal, take your guide from what Marylin's Waring, it began. Appetizer: Ann Herkiss. Soup: Thick Rowling Vegetable, Southern Maori Chicken (both served with Lange garlic loaf). Entrees: Deep-fried politicians' brains (limited supply); Opposition chicken liver pate (generous serving). Main courses: Muldoon Think Big Steak (well done), garnished with energygiving Birch Methanol Sauce; fried chicken (choice of left or right wing only); sweet and sour export meat dish, seasoned with personal political attacks. Election specials: subsidised export lamb with sacred minted inflation-proof sauce. All meals served with Mclntyre's mixed-up vegetables. Extras: tossed salad (a variety of greens tossed from party to party); platter of mixed politicians’ nuts. Sweets: Beetham blueberry pie, topped with tax-incen-tive sauce. Papanui special: Mike’s moorish apple turnover (either way). Campaigning coffee: compliments of the candidates. Toothpicks: compliments of the tooth fairy. All wines from the cool cabinet: Commiserations Cuvee or Moselle Sparkling Success. Your hosts cordially invite you to take a Knapp on Ben’s Couch after or during the evening’s proceedings . . .

Home truths

THIS WEEK’S national advertisement for “Woman’s Weekly’’ raised a few eyebrows. “Shock changes planned for 'Close to Home’; help for victims of home violence." The mind boggles at what the scripwriters are concocting. Tug cruise FANCY a starlight cruise (weather permitting) up Lyttelton Harbour on Sunday night? The old steam tug Lyttelton I is making a special excursion trip to raise money for the Sumner Lifeboat Fund. The tug leaves pier one at Lyttelton Wharf at 6 p.m. and returns about 10 p.m. Passengers can take along their own refreshments although tea and coffee will be provided on board. Only 150 tickets are available for the cruise at $8 a person from 3ZB Promotions, Kent House. Rancid recipe THE INTRICACIES of a strange language can often escape even the most avid listener, as a New Zealander working in India fpund out. The man, who works for a church organisation, was invited to a women's club to demonstrate how to make ice-cream. He was a bachelor and had refined a pretty successful recipe. The man was later delighted and amused to find a typed version of the recipe circulating amongst members which included the ingredients, “condemned milk and descecrated coconut.”