Random reminder

Press, 27 February 1981, Page 18

Random reminder

FRAME-UP t I Memo from Commanding Officer to ’ Officer-in-Charge of Rest and Recreation: Sixteen-millimetre projector and selection of films arrives tomorrow for remaining days of this camp. Memo from C. 0.: Film “Midnight Express” apparently features unnatural practices by Turkish policemen. Our own Military Police report that lower ranks are greeting them and each other with salaams, limp wrist movements and ribald comments. Withdraw “Midnight. Express”. Memo from C. 0.: Re “Serpico”, New 'York police drama. Young professional woman who removes knickers in Reel 3 bears stunning resemblance to Lieutenant Smith of Medical Corps. Lieutenant Smith has had to take disciplinary action against one of her patients already for insolence. Withdraw “Serpico”. Memo from C. 0.: Withdraw “Green Berets” at once, to preserve A.N.Z.U.S. alliance. Made with a massive United States Government support, IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE FUNNY. Memo from C. 0.: “Cinemascope” brand lens attachment unavailable. If troops throw beer cans at distorted , images, laterally compressed to onethird normal proportions, withdraw those films. Memo from C. 0.: Re popularity of and overcrowding at screenings of sole remaining film, • “Rosie Dixon, Night

Nurse ’, (i) Increase screenings from five per day to eight, (ii) Replacement bulbs by special courier this evening. Memo from C. 0.: Troops, will moderate enthusiasm during playings in reverse of “Rosie Dixon, Night Nurse', despite laughability of orgies, collapsing beds, vehicle chases etcetera being shown backwards. Also, volume of speech and music in reverse will be lowered. Headquarters staff can get no sleep. Memo from C. 0.: Operation of “Static Frame” control during naughty bits of. “Rosie Dixon, Night Nurse” will cease i due to risk of burning film. . ( Memo from C. 0.: Repeated operation of forward/r everse control to prolong naughty bits of “Rosie Dixon, Night Nurse” will cease due to strain on clutch mechanism and film sprockets. | Memo from C. 0.: On medical advice re danger of troops falling asleep andr suffering failing eyesight, “Rosie Dixon, Night Nurse” will no longer be shown. Projector will be returned to Admin. Memo from C. 0.: Replacement cost of full-length colour 16 mm film with heat blisters, stripped sprockets, scratches, multiple breakages. Sellotape joins and beer stains is approx. $lOOO. Complete and, return attached insurance forms, certifying “fair wear and tear in normal usage.” (