Random reminder

Press, 10 July 1979, Page 29

Random reminder

RALLY!

Mr Jack Union, of the League for the Determined Maintenance of Empire Bonds Against All Odds, is delighted with a recent report in “The Press” which stated that “the first cartons of New Zealand Cox’s Orange apples for the 1978 Northern Hemisphere selling season arrived at London’s Tilbury Docks last week and were in strong demand. . .” “This shows, does it not, that the bonds of Empire are as strong as ever they were,” said Mr Union to “Pony” Biers of the NZPA. “Despite the siren song of Europe, to which the British people were gulled by their leaders into listening to which, the sturdy New Zealand apple still receives a triumphant welcome in the stillbeating heart of that Empire on which the sun would never set if the darkies hadn’t taken over large bits of it. In 1914 and 1939 we stood where Britain stood — well, we did metaphoricallywise, despite the fact that we were in different hemispheres. And despite the

fact that the British people have now got to buy dago butter at twice what we could sell ours to them for, given half a chance they’ll sink their choppers into an Empire Cox’s Orange and laugh in the teeth of the frogmunching Frog or sausage-gobbling Hun.” “And how appropriate,” Mr Union went on, “that these Empire-bred apples should arrive at Tilbury Docks, the very docks from which bonny Queen Bess the First addressed her troops before the advent of the Spanish Armada, after which, fired by her words, they spurred their horses into the foam and drove off the wicked Spanish fleet. Let us hope that these honest New Zealand apples will become the first of a mighty Armada of the same, destined to reconquer England for the Empire.” Mr Union then departed for Westport, to address a meeting on the theme, “The Empire and Westport.”